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‘A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

112. A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Aired January 18, 2018

When Sheldon asks for a home computer, Mary and George disagree over whether the family can afford the expense.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

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Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: I could buy it for him, and then y'all could pay me back when you can.
George Sr.: Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me.
Meemaw: Well, that was not my intention, but I'm glad to hear it.

Quote from Missy

Missy: I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
Sheldon: I don't think the fight was about beer. I think there was more subtext.
Missy: You're probably right. Then again, I don't know what subtext is.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George Sr.: I can't do that.
George Jr.: Why not?
George Sr.: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
George Jr.: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Mom?
Mary: Why are you still up?
Sheldon: Madame Curie is on the roof, and she's not wearing her hat.
Mary: You're just dreaming, baby.
Sheldon: But she'll be cold without her hat.
Mary: I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.
Sheldon: Mm, thanks, Mom. You're the best.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Power has always been a deadly narcotic, and in 1989, RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL was my drug of choice. With an Intel 8086 running at eight megahertz and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive, there was nothing I couldn't do. From adding snazzy graphics to my homework-
Sheldon: So snazzy.
Adult Sheldon: To easily alphabetizing my list of enemies and their crimes.
Sheldon: So easy.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: You know that movie E.T.? The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott, which starts with an "E" and ends with a "T". Coincidence? I don't think so.
George Sr.: You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you?

Quote from Mary

George Sr.: Oh, come on. You know how I feel about your mother meddlin' in our finances.
Mary: She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help. And that computer is not some silly toy. Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork, and I could use it to organize my recipes.
George Sr.: You already got 'em organized on those little cards.
Mary: Yeah, like a cave person.

Quote from Missy

Mary: Finish your dinner and then pack a bag. We are going to Meemaw's.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: Because your mom and dad need a break from each other.
Sheldon: For how long?
Mary: I don't know. Just pack.
Sheldon: Will I need earmuffs?
Mary: Sure, if you want.
Sheldon: Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.
Mary: Then don't bring it.
Sheldon: I'll just bring my almanac. You know what, I'll bring both. Should I pack my toothbrush or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?
Missy: I got this one. Nobody cares.

Quote from Missy

George Jr.: I'll get it! [answering the phone suavely] Hello, Georgie speaking.
Missy: Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?

Quote from Sheldon

George Jr.: Hey. I hope you're happy.
Sheldon: Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: Where's the water come out of?
George Sr.: Well, seeing as that's the dryer, nowhere.
George Jr.: Hmm. So this one's the washer?
George Sr.: No foolin' you.

Quote from George Jr.

George Sr.: How did I get a rocket scientist for one son and a rodeo clown for the other?
George Jr.: Oh, man. I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown. They make people happy, and they see the rodeo for free.

Quote from George Jr.

Mary: There are expenses we could cut back on so we could afford a computer.
George Sr.: You mean like the money you give to church?
Mary: No, I mean like the money you give to the Lone Star Beer company.
George Jr.: Good one, Mom.
Mary: Shut up.
Meemaw: Shut up.
George Sr.: Shut up.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: I ain't never getting married.
George Sr.: That so?
George Jr.: Yeah. Women are nothing but trouble.

Quote from George Jr.

George Sr.: This little tiff between your mom and me will blow over. Don't make a big deal of it.
George Jr.: I'm not. I'm just saying I'm better suited to the single life.
George Sr.: And how do you picture that?
George Jr.: Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral, where there's all kinds of choices and you can have as much as you want?
George Sr.: Yeah.
George Jr.: It'll be like that, only with hot girls.
George Sr.: Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars you're married before you're 25.
George Jr.: You got a bet. I feel like I'm stealing your money.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: Mom and Dad are fighting because you want to get a stupid computer.
Sheldon: What are you talking about?
George Jr.: Mom wanted to buy it for you, Dad said they couldn't afford it, Meemaw offered to pay for it, and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch. I hate making my own lunch.

Quote from George Jr.

Computer: Hello, I am Eliza.
George Jr.: [typing] Eliza, are you hot?
Computer: In your fantasies, am I hot?
George Jr.: [typing] Oh yes.
Sheldon: You realize you're not talking to a real person.
George Jr.: Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score.


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