Dean: Um... baseball, I guess. If we make the finals, we get to play in Paterson Field, where the Montgomery Rebels play.
Buster: Oh. Hmm.
Dean: Yeah, my team's really counting on me. I bat around .800. I just made my third All-Star team.
Buster: Whoa, cool!
Adult Dean: All right, all right, I was basically describing my brother Bruce, but these kids would never know that.
Dean: Yep, I got some high school coaches interested in me. [time lapse] Of course I have a girlfriend! Her name's Keisa. She's the prettiest girl in school. Crazy about me. [time lapse] Sure, I go to concerts all the time. I even get a chance to play with my dad's band whenever he needs a soloist.

Bill: And pack your boots. You're gonna be helping your Grandpa in the fields.
Adult Dean: And just like that, my dreams of a week off from school were shattered. Instead, I was going to experience two of the unhappiest words in the English language... "No TV."

Bill: You two have a complicated relationship.
Lillian: Well, it's tricky with mothers and daughters.
Kim: I'm all packed.
Lillian: If that little piece of cloth is what you call "clothing," then clearly, I need to check everything else in your little suitcase.
Kim: What? You don't trust me to do anything.
Lillian: If you're referring to that trip with your friends, then the answer's still no.
Kim: I'm going to college soon. Why can't you let me go away for one weekend? What's the difference?
Lillian: The difference is college is not in the back of a van driven by a boy named Kwame.

Lillian: Your Grandpa called and said he needed my help with something. And as you know, family always comes first.
Dean: But I-I planned out my whole week. There's a good episode of The Beverly Hillbillies. Jethro gets a pet kangaroo. Grandma and Grandpa don't even have a TV. It's so boring there.
Lillian: Don't you dare call my parents "boring." It's been a minute since we visited, and it'd be good for you to spend some time with them.
Adult Dean: Don't get me wrong... I loved Grandma Bessie and Big Jim, especially when they visited us. But going to the country was a pain.
Bill: And the fresh air will do you good.
Dean: [sighs] I hate the fresh air.
Lillian: Oh, please don't say that in front of my mother. She doesn't need any more ammunition to judge my parenting.

Adult Dean: The sad part was, as I looked around the gym that night, I realized my plan had been a good one. ["When a Man Loves a Woman" plays] This dance was the perfect place to tell Keisa how I felt about her. The back room at the drug store wasn't nearly as romantic or picturesque as this, but I couldn't deny that we did have a moment. And maybe that was better than whatever this could have been.
♪ When a man loves a woman ♪
Adult Dean: Nope. Never mind. It wasn't. But the good thing about the long game is, it's long.
Hampton: There's been a spill by the punch bowl, and that hardwood is warping fast. If you can lean, you can clean. Oh, don't take that turtle! It's for the raffle!
♪ Turn his back on his best friend ♪ ♪ If he puts her down ♪ ♪ Yes, When a Man Loves a Woman ♪

Kim: Let's go. I am so incredibly sorry for what they put you through today. I assure you, they'll get a thorough talking-to when we go home. Come on, let's go.
Clerk: Whoa. I c- I can't let two kids go with another kid. They can either wait for their parents or the police.
Kim: Sir, I really appreciate your concern, but our parents will be working late. I can save you the trouble.
Clerk: They'll just have to wait, then.
Adult Dean: As Kim fought to get us out, it became clear to me that, in a way, she felt responsible for what had happened. When this started, it was just a line on a college résumé. But now she realized she was in over her head, and it was her job to make this right.
Kim: [sobbing] This is all my fault. I was responsible for them today, and I wasn't paying enough attention. And now look at them. They're felons. [sobbing] Our parents work so hard to keep us out of trouble, and they were relying on me to be a good big sister. But instead, I disappointed everyone. [sobbing]
Adult Dean: Now I had seen enough of Kim's fake tears to know what she was doing, but everyone else seemed to be buying it, so I was fine just shutting up and nodding along.
Kim: I'll be happy to pay for what they took. [sniffles]
Clerk: Fine. But y'all are never allowed back in this store again. You hear me?
Kim: Thank you for understanding, sir.

Keisa: [sighs] I'm sorry.
Dean: I don't get it. W-Why were you stealing? [Keisa shrugs] Was it 'cause of the money? [Keisa is silent]
Adult Dean: All of the years I'd known Keisa, I didn't notice that she never wore new clothes or always had to borrow my comic books instead of buying her own.
Keisa: People kept saying the new things made me look pretty.
Dean: Well... I-I always thought you were pretty the way you were.

Dean: Don't laugh. This is all your fault for giving Keisa a makeover. Now all the other guys like her.
Kim: Do you have a problem with a girl feeling good about herself and not being dependent on you for her self-esteem?
Dean: No.
Kim: Well, all I did was give Keisa a dress and a bit of makeup. As her friend, you should be happy for her.
Dean: Okay. I don't have time for this, all right? Hampton asked me to go to the drug store and get him some last-minute decorations. Apparently, our ocean backdrop isn't turquoise enough to match the Atlantic.

Adult Dean: Keisa's parents decided she could join the committee, but they still wanted her under their watchful eye if she was going to work after school with boys.
Hampton: Great job on those waves, Keisa. You clearly studied the references I gave you this morning.
Dean: Look, guys! I'm a walrus! Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr-arr! [laughter]
Hampton: If you're gonna play around, use a flat-top, not our Filberts.

Kim: Are you going?
Keisa: Oh, I can't. My parents won't let me date boys until I'm older.
Kim: Ugh, I remember those stupid rules.
Bill: They aren't stupid. I respect her parents for that. Boys ain't nothin' but trouble. [to Dean] Be cool. [holds hands in prayer] Father...
Adult Dean: Jesus, please kill me.