Adult Dean: Every generation of every family wants its children to have a better life. For many black families in the '60s, a better life simply meant being able to walk a dog instead of being chased by them. For my family, a better life meant a better education.
Lillian: I talked to your guidance counselor. He said that volunteering for the Big Sister, Little Sister program could help your college application stand out.
Kim: I've spent years as Dean's big sister. Shouldn't that count towards community service?
Bill: Spent the first two years trying to send him back. Kept wasting good stamps.
Kim: Well, I went to all his stupid baseball games.
Dean: You went to one game, and the one game that you actually went to, you thought I was another kid.
Kim: You all wear the same color shirts.

Hampton: Ah, isn't it magical? All of our hard work has finally paid off, and you've got the best job in the house. You get to see everyone's faces as they first lay eyes on our underwater fantasy. "Fanta-sea." That would have been a good one.

Bill: My man. First dance tonight. You know what? Your curfew's extended until 10:00.
Dean: Cool.
Bill: You meeting Keisa there, or are you guys picking her up?
Dean: Actually, I'm not going with Keisa. I never asked her, and now she's going with an eighth grader.
Bill: Then who are you going with?
Dean: I'm on the planning committee.
Bill: [sighs] Be home by 8:00.

Cory: Three years? Are you out of your mind? By then, you'll be... "just a friend." [both shudder]
Dean: Why? Is being friends bad?
Cory: Girls don't fall in love with their friends.
Hampton: Yeah, my mom and dad aren't friends at all.
Cory: Are you going to ask her to the Valentine's Day dance?
Brad: Not as a friend?
Dean: Check this out. Music. Dancing. The opening refrain to "When a Man Loves a Woman". Then I'll reveal my true feelings for Keisa.
Cory: Hmm.
Dean: No?
Hampton: Don't listen to them, Dean. I'm on the dance's planning committee, and this year's theme will be perfect for your plan. I could tell you the theme now, but I'd hate to give away the surprise. [all silent] Fine, it's "Under The Sea." Happy?

Dean: Kim, please promise that you won't do anything to embarrass me when my friend Keisa comes over.
Kim: Oh, it's that Keisa? Sure, I won't even mention you. I'll leave the embarrassing part up to you.
Dean: Great. Thanks.
Adult Dean: With Kim on my side now, I just had to ensure my home field was wiped clean of any other embarrassments...
like a naked photo of me as a baby. And another... Did my parents ever bother to dress me? Even the pictures I drew of myself were naked. What kind of a freak was I? [Dean sighs] Great. Nothing embarrassing left. [doorbell rings] [sighs] [Dean sees his underwear] Okay.
[Dean answers the front door:]
Dean: [sighs] Hey, Keisa. Sorry, I completely forgot you were coming. Uh, c'mon in.
Lillian: [o.s.] Dean! Why is your dinosaur underwear in the oven?!

Kim: So, do you have any brothers and sisters?
Keisa: Yeah, I do. I have a older brother. This is actually his jacket.
Kim: Oh. Well, how are you liking school this year?
Keisa: It's been fun. I have a lot of fun classes.
Dean: [strains] Don't mind me. Just... phew... gettin' in my daily pump. [grunts] Yeah.

Keisa: We only buy new clothes when school starts.
Kim: Gotcha.
Keisa: Sometimes, my mom makes my clothes.
Kim: Do you like that?
Keisa: No.
Kim: [laughs] I didn't think so.
Keisa: She wants me to dress all girly, like her.
Kim: Mm. Some things you can always count on... like mothers having different tastes than their daughters. And... [Kim throws a book at the wall]
Dean: [o.s.] Ah! [Keisa laughs]
Kim: And little brothers being creeps.

Lillian: Keisa, you look lovely.
Dean: Yes, very... lovely. Very in-indeed.
Bill: He ain't right.
Adult Dean: Then the worst thing in the world happened. Mama and Daddy's parental intuition kicked in, and they figured out I had feelings for Keisa.
Lillian: Dean, doesn't Keisa look pretty?
Dean: Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...
Bill: Say something.
Dean: I-I-I... What I was going to say is, I like dresses. O... I mean, I-I like that dress. O-On you. Pretty.
Bill: Stop saying something.

Lillian: Dean, didn't you mention something about a dance at your school?
Dean: Uh, well, I, uh...
Bill: Haven't I seen you practicing your Hully Gully in the mirror? He's a bad man on the dance floor.
Kim: Sweepin' or moppin'? [laughs]

Kim: Are you going?
Keisa: Oh, I can't. My parents won't let me date boys until I'm older.
Kim: Ugh, I remember those stupid rules.
Bill: They aren't stupid. I respect her parents for that. Boys ain't nothin' but trouble. [to Dean] Be cool. [holds hands in prayer] Father...
Adult Dean: Jesus, please kill me.