Cory: Wasn't that... the best?
Hampton: Yeah. God reconciled with his people. The bush was on fire and talking.
Cory: Not the movie, Hampton. The girls.
Hampton: Oh, yeah. That was cool too. I got my first kiss.
Dean: What?
Hampton: Yeah. Tammy made an honest man out of me.

Hampton: Did you kiss Charlene?
Dean: Heck, no!
Hampton: Hey, watch your mouth!
Adult Dean: I didn't want Charlene to jeopardize my chances with Keisa, so I did what any respectable man in my situation would do.
Dean: Uh, you know, Hampton, uh, after spending a lot of time with Charlene, I think that you two would make a pretty good couple. Um, plus, Pastor Reliford would like you, uh, 'cause you guys have so much in common... uh, you know, uh, God... Bible stuff. I'd be willing to let her go. For you.
Hampton: Thou shall not commit adultery, Dean. Did you learn nothing from the movie?

Cory: What's wrong with you, man? Being with Charlene is a good thing.
Dean: How is it good?
Norman: Because women are complicated.
Cory: See, having a girlfriend makes other girls want to be your girlfriend.
Norman: See? Complicated.

Lillian: Ooh, hoo-hoo! This is gonna be so much fun. Dean, let's go find your sleeping bag for the lock-in.
Dean: You mean church jail?
Bill: Watch your mouth. When I was your age, singing in the youth choir was where I first discovered my love of music. And peppermints.
Lillian: Hm. And I was a Sunday school leader for as long as I can remember. This lock-in is a good opportunity for you to figure out where you belong.
Adult Dean: Right. Because "Most Likely to Fit in at Church" is the award that all the players get.

Adult Dean: Suddenly, I saw the lock-in in a whole new light. If being trapped inside a church all night meant kissing girls, I might end up having my first kiss... with Keisa. Then maybe there is a God.

Lillian: You two relax. If Kim wants to be kissing on some little mannish boy in the house of God, then that's between her and Jesus.
Dean: Hey, Mama, you know, on second thought, maybe I should go to the lock-in. You know, uh, to get, uh, closer to God.
Bill: Are we sure we want Dean to go to this lock-in, given what Kim just said?
Lillian: Why not? I mean, come on. It's just Dean.
Bill: Yeah.
Adult Dean: "Just Dean" sucked as my campaign motto for sixth-grade treasurer, and it still sucked now.

Pastor Reliford: And that's the schedule for tonight. As you can see, we have lots of fun stuff planned, so take a minute, get your bearings, and after the break, you're in for a real treat. [drops puppet] You know Moses. Always trying to get to the Promised Land.
Hampton: [laughs] He's so funny.
Adult Dean: A few years later, we sadly discovered the Pastor also used those Old Testament puppets in his teen sex-ed talks.

Dean: Can I say something?
Margaret: Mm-hmm.
Dean: Why do you need my help? I'm one of the boys, too. [laughter]
Tammy: Not really. You're not like the other boys. You're just... Dean.
Adult Dean: I was also "just Dean" sophomore year in college when my crush, Stephanie Peters, had me try on shirts she was thinking of buying for her boyfriend. That scarred me.

Lillian: Dean! Oh, baby, I'm so glad I found you. You know, I heard some of these kids are trying to plan some kind of makeout session. Your sister was right. The house of the Lord is no place to be acting fast, so I'm trying to find out who it is. Do you know anything about it?
Dean: Well, now that you asked, I did hear some kids were going to the offering room, uh, during the movie?
Lillian: Hm. Well, thank you for telling me. I will definitely be there watching. And if you hear anything else about this, you let me know. All right?
Dean: I will.
Lillian: All right, of course you will. [hugs Dean] I know I don't have to worry about you.
Adult Dean: Except for me being a big, fat liar.

Pastor Reliford: Let's take a five-minute intermission. [Dean sighs] Will Pharaoh let God's people go? [scoffs] I don't know. [Hampton laughs]