Bill: Hold on, hold on. Maybe the boy has a point, Lil. This is their first time playing in front of real people who don't have to clap. Plus, he's got a solo. Boy's got to look sharp! I think I'll take you shirt shopping myself. How about that? I might even pick up one or two shirts, just in case I end up taking this tour.
Dean: Thanks, Dad. I want to look as cool as you.
Kim: Still gonna wear the glasses, though?
Dean: You're just jealous because the saxophone is way cooler than the stupid cello.
Lillian: The cello is not stupid. And, Kim, there's nothing wrong with your brother's glasses.
Bill: That's right. Cut it out, you two.
Both: Yes, sir.
Kim: And I only play the cello because Dad wouldn't let me play the saxophone when I was your age. He said that's how girls get pregnant.

Dean: Mom, since the Fair's coming up and I have a solo in the concert...
Kim: When school lets out early, I'm going with Cassandra and Corynella.
Lillian: Well, don't you have a paper... [Dean clears throat] Forgive us, Dean. Please continue bragging about your solo.
Dean: I was hoping that maybe I could get a new shirt for the concert. Maybe a silk one. I want to look cool.
Lillian: First of all, you know you only get clothes at the beginning of the school year. Second... a silk shirt? Which one of the Pips are you replacing? [laughter]

Adult Dean: Music was my only chance to be cool because, let's be honest, I wasn't cool in any other way.
Dean: [clears throat] [on the phone in a deep voice:] Hello. May I speak to John? [Cory chuckles]
Keisa: There's no John here.
Dean: Then do you pee outside? [Cory laughs]
Keisa: Dean?
Dean: Uh, who's Dean?
Keisa: I know it's you. You use the same voice when we imitate Mr. Roberts in art class. Remember? I taught it to you? Because my voice is deeper than yours.
Dean: [normal voice] No, it's not! [deep voice] Uh, I mean, who's Dean? [hangs up]
Cory: [laughs] Man, I told you that joke was no good.
Dean: Yeah, it was kind of a thinker.