Lillian: I'm serious. I don't know what to do with that girl. I mean, she's talking back and... [sighs] Headed off at all hours of the night to god knows where, and don't get me started about that boy she's seeing again. Kwame.
Bill: Albert.

Lillian: You know how important first impressions are. I want everyone at Lads and Ladies to know how special you are. [Kim rolls her eyes] Roll those eyes again, and I'll make sure they get stuck that way. Now, act smart, well-spoken, well-mannered in front of the adults. Be respectful and remember to show that you're up on current events.
Adult Dean: Current events? I was 12. I thought a Dixiecrat was a new kind of sundae at Dairy Queen.
Dean: What's the point of this Lads and Ladies thing? I mean, I already have friends, and I don't have to dress up to go see them.
Lillian: It's an organization made up of prominent families who do really good work in our community. These are the type of successful people I want you to be around, so I need you two to be on your best behavior.
Adult Dean: Mama was always giving us speeches about being on our best behavior in public and representing our family well. What was she afraid we were gonna do?
[fantasy:]
Dean: [sneezes, belches]
Kim: [holds rifle] Black! Blackness! Vietnam! [rifle cocks]

Dean: Dad, it's a Saturday. It's the only day I get to watch cartoons. Why can't I stay home while you guys go?
Bill: You know this is a family event. Now get in the car.
Dean: But why? The only reason we're going is because you're afraid that Kim's gonna fall into the wrong crowd and not go to college.
Kim: Is that why we've gotten so bourgeois all of a sudden? 'Cause you're trying to run my life?
Bill: Young lady, as long as you're in this house, you'll do as your mother and I say.
Kim: And I say Lads and Ladies is a classist organization that only exists to reinforce the patriarchy.
Bill: Those are some mighty good SAT words for someone who don't want to go to college.
Kim: Ugh. The point is it's my decision.
Lillian: Didn't your father just tell you who makes the decisions in this house? And you better come on...

Vivian: Now, right over there, that's Dorothy Payton. This is her home, and she is the head of the selection committee, so you'll want to be nice to her.
Lillian: Oh, I'm nice to everybody.
Kim: Hmph.
Lillian: Don't you start.
Adult Dean: I didn't understand why at the time, but mama looked nervous. Dad noticed too, but him being a man in the 1960s, he didn't know exactly what to say either, so he went with his old standby.
Bill: Uh, you look very pretty, sweetie.
Lillian: [chuckles softly] Thank you, Bill. Oh, my. This is like sorority rush all over again. [inhales deeply] Okay, let's go.

Adult Dean: Now that I was all in with these Lads and Ladies kids, I didn't want Kim's funky attitude to mess it all up for me.
Kim: What?
Dean: Okay, I need a favor. I'll do all your chores for a week if you tell mom you want to come to every Lads and Ladies event.
Kim: Okay.
Adult Dean: Man, that was easy! Too easy.
Kim: It is so cool that Howard has a major in Afro-American Studies.
Herb: It's not just a major anymore. They started a whole new department. There was a bit of a student takeover, if you will.
Kim: If I do decide to go to college, I got to go someplace with a progressive curriculum, you dig?
Herb: [chuckles] Right on, sister! You know, you should really come to our college information meeting. You'd definitely dig that.
Adult Dean: What? Kim was having a good time? Man, I played myself. I was gonna have to do a week of Kim's chores for nothing. Dammit.

Dave: Wait, you're talking about Nat king Cole? The Nat King Cole?
Bill: The one and only.
Dave: Ooh. [laughter]
Bill: Now, I'm not saying Nat's band was into wild stuff, but let's just say this cocktail waitress and her friends...
Coach Long: Hey, Bill. Bill.
Bill: Oh. Hey, Dean.
Adult Dean: I can't tell you how many times I heard my dad almost finish that story.

Bill: This wasn't as bad as I thought. I actually met some guys who had excellent taste in music.
Lillian: [chuckles] Meaning they heard your record?
Bill: Yep. Real good taste.

Lillian: Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes.
Bill: You don't sound happy.
Lillian: I'm afraid they might be living up to their reputation, if you know what I mean.
Bill: Somebody say something?
Lillian: Well, it's not like they pulled out a brown paper bag or anything, but it was just a lot of comments about looking for Lads and Ladies type of people.
Bill: Well, you let me know what you want to do.
Lillian: As long as it's good for Dean and Kim, we'll stick with the process.

Vivian: Oh, well, looks like we were wrong about the whole... thing. [both chuckle] Looks like we're still in the running, girl. So what you gonna wear to Dorothy's luncheon tomorrow?
Lillian: What luncheon?
Vivian: You know, the one for all the moms. Oh... Lil, I'm so sorry. I...
Lillian: Don't worry about it. I'm glad they invited you. At least now we know it's not about complexion.
Vivian: Well, it probably was just an oversight. I'll talk to Dorothy.
Lillian: No, don't worry about it. And feel free to go without me.
Vivian: [chuckles] Girl, now, you... You know I was still going. [chuckles] I'm not gonna have no fun, though.

Lillian: What happened?
Nelson: A stink bomb went off but Dean had nothing to do with it.
Dean: Yeah, we, uh, had to miss the rest of the exhibition. Uh, do you think we could come back next weekend?
Lillian: We'll see.
Adult Dean: Something about that look on my mom's face made me worried that she wasn't buying it. But soon I would realize what she had on her mind wasn't about me.