Lillian: Kim went to her lock-in and she really enjoyed herself. Tell your brother if he doesn't go, he's gonna be missing out.
Kim: You know, I actually had a great time at my lock-in. I got my first kiss that night.
Bill: Excuse me?
Kim: Mm-hmm. Craig Westfield. Mm, I had the biggest crush on Craig, and...
Bill: Kimberly Lanette Williams.
Adult Dean: I think our parents only gave us middle names so we'd know when we're in trouble.
Kim: What? It's boys and girls overnight without parents for the first time. And the Pastor always falls asleep after lights out. What do you expect to happen?
Bill: Who is this Craig boy?
Kim: Dad, it was like five years ago.
Bill: You said his last name is Westfield? Where is this phone book?
Kim: Hey, don't pin this all on me. Craig and I were not the only ones kissing that night.
Bill: Who else am I gonna pin it on?

Bill: Hold on, hold on. Maybe the boy has a point, Lil. This is their first time playing in front of real people who don't have to clap. Plus, he's got a solo. Boy's got to look sharp! I think I'll take you shirt shopping myself. How about that? I might even pick up one or two shirts, just in case I end up taking this tour.
Dean: Thanks, Dad. I want to look as cool as you.
Kim: Still gonna wear the glasses, though?
Dean: You're just jealous because the saxophone is way cooler than the stupid cello.
Lillian: The cello is not stupid. And, Kim, there's nothing wrong with your brother's glasses.
Bill: That's right. Cut it out, you two.
Both: Yes, sir.
Kim: And I only play the cello because Dad wouldn't let me play the saxophone when I was your age. He said that's how girls get pregnant.

Kim: Ew. What is with all this noise? I can't hear myself think.
Lillian: Stop. Don't move. Dean has chicken pox.
Kim: Oh, you are not getting me sick. I just got over mono.
Bill: Mono? You said it was a lingering cold.
Kim: We need to be worried about Dean right now.

Dean: Didn't mean to make you guys fight.
Kim: That fight was a long time coming. He's more into making noise, and I'm more into making change.
Dean: Oh. You gonna be okay?
Kim: Nothing a Smokey Robinson 45 can't fix. [both laugh]
Dean: But you really liked him. You fought with Mom about him all the time.
Kim: I thought he was worth fighting for. Some boys are. But not ones who say "liberry" instead of "library." Don't you dare tell Mama I admitted to that.
Dean: I won't.

Lillian: Uh, you know, Michael, Kim has been looking at colleges. Is that something you might be interested in doing?
Michael: Haven't I seen you hanging around Jacque's house?
Kim: I don't think so.
Michael: Yeah. No, it was definitely you. Man, those parties are so loud. And the kissing. I've never seen that many people locking lips in my life.
Bill: Keys.
Kim: [sighs]

Lillian: So, now that you're home, any plans for your future?
Bill: The coach at 'Bama State was dying to have you on the team before you went off to war. You should reach out. Might be a scholarship in it for you.
Kim: Speaking of Alabama State, there's a stop-the-war rally there tomorrow. You should come with me.
Bruce: So I can get booed and spit on by a bunch of kids who have no idea what I've been through? [awkward silence] [clears throat] So, uh, my sister's an activist now? Last thing I remember you protesting was your curfew. [laughter]
Bill: Stupidest signs I ever seen. [laughter]
Bruce: Well, I am proud of you.

Dean: Kim, you're invited, too.
Kim: To what?
Dean: Brad's Bar Mitzvah party.
Kim: [scoffs] I'd rather be caught dead than go to a party with a bunch of little kids. Plus, Brad stares at me too much.
Lillian: Actually, Kim, I think you should go.
Kim: What part of "I'd rather be caught dead" are you not hearing?
Bill: I know I didn't just hear attitude coming from that mouth.
Kim: No, sir.

Lillian: This is an environment Dean hasn't been in before.
Kim: So?
Bill: So, we know Brad's folks, but we don't know Brad's folks' folks.
Lillian: I think it'd be a good idea for Dean to have someone there to look after him, someone who cares about him.
Kim: [laughs] Why you asking me, then?
Bill: You're going, and that's final.
Kim: Fine. But I'm gonna need some new Bar Mitzvah shoes.

Dean: Okay, fine! I'll tell you. Charlene said that I can't be friends with Keisa anymore, which means I can't be with the rest of my friends, and now I'm gonna be stuck sitting with a bunch of toothless old people!
Kim: Why doesn't Charlene want you and Keisa being friends?
Dean: She said that, in order for us to have a healthy relationship, we have to stop being friends with people of the opposite sex.
Kim: [laughs] That sounds like the [bleep] they put in Seventeen for White people.
Dean: Now I'll be stuck sitting with a bunch of boring girls Charlene sits with.
Kim: Why don't you just get Charlene to become friends with Keisa? Then her friends are your friends and you can all hang out together.
Adult Dean: It was in moments like these that I remembered that Kim wasn't just my sister; she was a girl, too. She actually knew how girls worked!
Dean: Yeah. You're right. Thanks, Kim. You know, I-I didn't really want to tell you at first, but... [Kim turns the car radio on]

Keisa: We only buy new clothes when school starts.
Kim: Gotcha.
Keisa: Sometimes, my mom makes my clothes.
Kim: Do you like that?
Keisa: No.
Kim: [laughs] I didn't think so.
Keisa: She wants me to dress all girly, like her.
Kim: Mm. Some things you can always count on... like mothers having different tastes than their daughters. And... [Kim throws a book at the wall]
Dean: [o.s.] Ah! [Keisa laughs]
Kim: And little brothers being creeps.