Granddaddy Clisby: Don't worry, kid. I've been winning at poker since I learned to play in a foxhole during the Great War.
Dean: So what was it like fighting in World War I?
Bill: You might be a little young for those stories.
Dean: I'm old enough to play poker.
Granddaddy Clisby: Fine. I guess I can tell you one story.
[later:]
Granddaddy Clisby: And that's when I shot down the Red Baron.
Bill: No, you didn't. No, he didn't.
Adult Dean: Once Granddaddy got started, there was no stopping him. I heard about trench warfare, mustard gas poisoning, and how he single-handedly saved Paris while falling in love with Josephine Baker.

Granddaddy Clisby: And we were marching through this town, see, and I saw this cute little French girl...
Bill: Not appropriate, Dad.
Adult Dean: This was it. This was the bonding moment I'd been waiting for. I was feeling happy, feeling redeemed, feeling... very, very hot.
Bill: You okay there, Dean? Oh, you are burning up. We need to get you to a doctor.
Granddaddy Clisby: No, no, no, no, we ain't going there. All right? Y-Y-You can't trust these doctors. Well, they tell you they're gonna take your blood, then they don't tell you what they're gonna do with it.
Bill: Don't listen to him. This is just nonsense he hears at the barbershop.
Granddaddy Clisby: You remember your cousin Darnell? Well, he's being treated by some doctors over at Tuskegee in some special studies, but I'm telling you, the man is only getting worse.
Adult Dean: Yeah, that's the one the history books still don't talk about enough.

Dean: Don't you know that they take your blood and do something secret with it?
Granddaddy Clisby: That's right. That's why they call it medical practice, because they're practicing on you.
Bill: Dad.
Dean: Exactly. Just g-give me some goose grease, and I'll be fine.
Lillian: Wha... Goose grease?
Bill: Dad. You need to stop. You're the one who put this foolishness in his head, so... you're the one who needs to get it out.
Granddaddy Clisby: Okay. Okay. So, maybe you ought to listen to the doctor just this once.
Dean: But you wouldn't let them take your blood, Granddad. You told me.
Granddaddy Clisby: Maybe if we do this together.

Dean: Maybe I can even go to school tomorrow.
Lillian: Well, the doctor said she'd call tonight to give the all clear.
Granddaddy Clisby: "She." Just doesn't sound right. [stammers] I'm just glad that you are back in the kitchen.
Lillian: Oh, Clisby, the only reason I cook delicious food is to keep that mouth of yours occupied and shut. [chuckles]
Kim: You see? That's what happens when you get an education.

Dean: What's all this?
Kim: Daddy just taught me how to change my spark plugs and change my oil.
Bill: She learned almost as fast as Bruce did.
Dean: So, Dad's teaching you to work on cars?
Kim: Well, he didn't want to at first. Said being oily and greasy was "unladylike."
Bill: But saving $2.50 on a tune-up is beautiful.

Dean: We're stopping again?
Granddaddy Clisby: I'll take a pee break every 15 minutes if I want to. It's one of the perks of getting old, and you can't take that from me.

Bill: Dad, you got to take this seriously. Chicken pox at your age can be really dangerous.
Lillian: Mm-hmm, and I'm not letting you go home to infect Mother Williams. Lord knows she's suffered enough.
Granddaddy Clisby: Fine, fine. But I'm not gonna be happy about it.
Lillian: Dinner's on the stove.
Bill: But it's just boiling water.
Lillian: Oh, you'll have to finish it yourselves. Love you, baby. Take care. Bye.
Adult Dean: Maybe I was gonna get that bonding experience after all.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, I take dinner at 5:00, and, uh, after that, one of you gonna have to run my bath water.
Bill: [to Dean] You're sleeping outside.

Bill: I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. It's gonna be hard, real hard.
Dean: Are you kidding me? This is gonna be so great! We can finally hang out like we planned... Maybe play some cards, swap some stories. Just three generations of us Williams men.
Granddaddy Clisby: It's gonna be two generations if you don't stop yapping.
Bill: How about you don't threaten my son?
Granddaddy Clisby: I was talking about myself.

Bill: Dean, you do your regular chores. And stop scratching. That's how it spreads. So, what chores are you actually gonna do, Dad?
Granddaddy Clisby: Oh, I don't do chores. Never did. See, my mama did them for me until I was 16, and then my wife took over after that.
Bill: Guess what, Dad? It's the '60s. Men have evolved since your generation. We're not helpless around the house anymore.
Adult Dean: Mm-hmm. This is the same man who didn't meet any of his kids until the day after they were born.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, I'm old and feeble. Ain't that what you're always telling me? This pox just might take me down.
Bill: I see. So now that there's chores on the table, you're taking this seriously.
Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah.
Bill: You're doing the dishes, Dad.

Adult Dean: By day four, we had all fallen into a routine.
Bill: I was reading that.
Granddaddy Clisby: I know.
Adult Dean: But Dad and Granddad were still getting on each other's nerves, which meant there was zero bonding going on.
Bill: And stop scratching, Dad. Just use the cream Lillian brought.
Granddaddy Clisby: I ain't studdin' them quacks down there at the pharmacy. Goose grease works just fine.
Bill: The only thing that goose grease is doing is making my house smell like a barnyard.
Granddaddy Clisby: Listen, if you don't want me here, I'll be happy to leave. In fact, I'm tired of you always trying to tell me what to do, trying to domesticate me. [doorbell rings]
Dean: How many goose guys ya got?