Gabe: Ugh, man. My delts are blasted. I wish they had a chart for how much protein powder to scoop for a 180 pound man with no fat.

Jim: How about this? How about we just ask Robert? Can we all agree that maybe the C.E.O should decide this?
Harry: Robert's here. Look at us. Bickering like schoolgirls, looking around the room for things to hit each other with.
Jim: I don't think we were doing that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Chair, lamp, plant, table leg, Jim's leg.

Andy: Some bizarre energy in this place today. Robert is going off the rails, making some funky decisions. Like why is nobody gonna call on Prestige? That is a huge client. I mean, they could give their business to the first person to walk in the door. Could be any idiot. Any idiot at all.

Dwight K. Schrute: Wha– What is this supposed to be?
Jim: It's a monkey.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim, get real. This is not a monkey. It's got a hula skirt and a blue nose.

Gabe: Did someone say girl talk?
[aside to camera:]
Gabe: Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.
[back:]
Gabe: Have you guys been watching any good Korean soap operas? I'm pretty deep into Hee-Jungcinderella girl. Although, I definitely fast-forward through the young-Tae storylines.
Nellie: Do you think I'd like that, or is it important to have an Asian fetish?
Gabe: Uh, I think you're gonna need to have an Asian fetish. Yeah. [chuckles] It'll be upsetting if you don't.

Harry: So what would you do if you weren't selling paper?
Jim: Oh, man, I'd have to sell beets. Probably submit them for competitions.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Jim: Yeah! I know it sounds stupid, but nationals has always kinda been a dream of mine.
Dwight K. Schrute: How have we never talked about this before? Wait. You don't even care about nationals.

Nellie: I got your voicemail. From- From last night.
Robert: Wonderful.
Nellie: And the answer... is yes, yes, yes, yes, and never. [leaves]
Robert: Pam, when's the last time you lived so intensely that your brain literally couldn't hold the memories in?
Pam: Oh, it was this summer–
Robert: Apparently, I left a phone message for Nellie last night, and I need you to find out what I said.
Pam: Um, I am a little busy.
Robert: Yes. Of course. Why don't you list the things that would keep you from helping me.
Pam: Yeah, I can make you a list.
Robert: Let's do it now. What's number one?
Pam: Why don't I help you now?
Robert: There we go.

Dwight K. Schrute: Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen? [swallows powder] [coughs] There you go boys. See how papa takes care of you? [kisses bicep] Mwah.
Gabe: I remember when people thought biceps were all that. They'd flex them all night at the discotheque.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, I bet you think it's all about core, huh?
Gabe: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, please.

Andy: Lot going on guys. What's happening?
Jim: Binghamton branch closed last night and their clients are up for grabs.
Andy: That was a fine branch. Things are really bad under Robert California, I guess. It's like a festival of poo.
Jim: Hey, hey, come on, language.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, and we're not interested in your sour grapes, okay? Jim, tell him where he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, Jim, the butt. In his butt.
Jim: Sorry, man, I can't focus on zingers. There's too many potential clients.

Robert: Where's the Advil, Jim? I think I've hit my limit on the Tylenol.
Andy: [doing dishes] Sorry, not Jim.
Robert: Andrew, what do we have to do to get rid of you? Hire you back and send Erin back to Florida?
Andy: Message received loud and clear. Just have to get the caramelized sugar off the pan before it dries.