Michael Scott: I sorta like the old way.
Deangelo: I just prefer it without the name and I thought- I've got to start doing some managing at some point.
Michael Scott: I know, I know. I'm sorry, but if it's not a big deal we should just-
Deangelo: And it really isn't.
Michael Scott: Is that good?
Erin: Yeah, okay, good.
Deangelo: Well, I'd like to change it, actually.
Michael Scott: Well, whatever. Whatever you think will work.
Erin: What do you think?
Deangelo: Yeah, I think a change would be nice.
Michael Scott: You can do the old way or whichever one you want to do. [phone rings]
Deangelo: [whispering] Change it.
Erin: [picks up phone] ... I'm so sorry. Sorry. [hangs up]

Deangelo: Hey, funny guy. I'm having a little mid-day lull here. Make me laugh. Huh, what have you got? I can't even look at you.
Andy: Here we go... Okay, what do African Americans call the... [laughter]
Erin: Deangelo, did you order a barber?
Deangelo: Oh, yeah. Put a pin on that, kid. Can't wait to hear the punchline.
Darryl: Finish the joke, Andy. What do African Americans call..?
Andy: I don't know. Help me.

Michael Scott: [to Erin] Shave me. [walks into his office with Deangelo] Well, this is going to be funny, because it looks like we are going to be shaving buddies!
Deangelo: Okay, alright! I love it! I love it! Michael, this is Reggie. He is the #1 Yelp-reviewed shaver in Scranton. It's not even close.
Michael Scott: And this is Erin and she is going to shave my face. Here we go. [Erin squirts far too much shaving cream onto Michael's face]
Deangelo: Alright. This is how we do it. Feels nice, doesn't it?
Michael Scott: It really does. This is luxury. Here we go. Ah, that is nice.

Oscar: You wanted to talk to us, Deangelo?
Deangelo: Ah, yes, please. Just cozy up there. Just thought we could have some rap sessions with smaller groups.
Michael Scott: Well, we don't really do rap sessions. We kinda do- [as Erin shaves him] God! We sorta do more of like pow-wows or whatevs-
Deangelo: Okay, then, powwows then, fine.

Pam: Hey, Deangelo, my mom just sent me this picture of Cece, it is so adorable.
Jim: Alright, wait, little bit of backstory, she loves dogs. She calls them "da-das".
Pam: "Da-das".
Jim: And what happens here is-
Deangelo: You know what, enough about your baby, okay? I'm sorry.
Jim: We were- I think she was just trying to-
Deangelo: No, no, no, I know what you're doing. Just quit it.

Deangelo: I want to hear from the rank and file. How can I be the best manager for you all? What can I do better?
Michael Scott: You know what, everybody? You have to be honest, here. You can't say that everything is perfect, right? So, come up with something.
Oscar: Well, Deangelo, I'd say communication could be improved. People stopped reading memos, so everyone marks them urgent.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what, I mark it urgent A, urgent B, urgent C, urgent D. Urgent A is the most important, urgent D you don't even really have to worry about.
Erin: Okay, Michael, can you stop talking now? I need to shave your lips.
Michael Scott: Don't shave my lips.

Deangelo: [Andy walks into room] What's up?
Andy: I don't mean to go into a rant here, but...
[aside to camera:]
Andy: I wrote the perfect joke. Topical, edgy, funny.
[back:]
Andy: ...I saw this thing in the news. Democrats want electric cars. Republicans don't. I'm thinking, "How crazy is it that we have a car debate going on in a city known for gridlock."
Deangelo: Um. Let's not- Let's not talk politics in the office, okay? I like you better as a funny guy.
Andy: [leans on table] I wasn't taking a position. It's just sort of one of those things where- [table collapses]
Deangelo: [laughter] Now, that's funny! That's funny! You walk much?

[As Michael and Deangelo embrace in an awkward hug:]
Michael Scott: Why did you have to be so damn good?
Deangelo: I... I'm adequate. I'm half as good as you.
Michael Scott: No, no, no. Come on. You are good, they know it.
Deangelo: Will you do me a favor and enjoy this time, okay? You've worked so hard, get your senioritis on. It's Lake Havasu time!
Michael Scott: Guess I've been working so hard I forgot what it's like to be hardly working.