Todd: [to Erin] Hey, Moonface. Nice to see those shiny, little Chinese eyes of yours.
Clark: [to Pam] Who's this guy?
Pam: Bad.

Clark: Hey, man. I don't think we've met. I'm Clark.
Todd: Oh. I'm Todd. Oh, sorry for calling you a fat, little runt earlier.
Clark: You didn't actually say that.
Todd: No? Wow. I'm in this mode now where I'm apologizing for thoughts that are in my head. Hey, I have a crazy feeling [gives Clark a cupcake] that you are really gonna like this.

Todd: So, that's it. I just wanted to make amends. [slides cupcakes across to Darryl and Jim]
Darryl: That's big of you, man. Takes a lot of courage.
Jim: Ooh, red velvet. I should apologize too.
Todd: It's OK. I'm over it.

Michael Scott: Hi.
Holly: You must be Todd.
Todd: Whoa, I'm sorry, Michael. I thought we were meeting Holly today, not Jennifer Aniston!

Todd: Apparently, as soon as corporate found out I wanted to come in off the road, Jo offered me a cushy new job in Tallahassee. And here's the best part, I'm a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every sub species. Also I'm a huge boob nerd.

Todd: So you two are married now, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Todd: That's sweet. How's the sex?
Jim: Yeah... [returns to work]

Todd: Merry Christmas, asswipe.
Michael Scott: No way. Oh, you're kidding me. Packer! Yes! Todd Packer, ladies and gentlemen.
Todd: What's up, my nerds? Check it out!
Michael Scott: Oh, no, no. Oh, look at that. Icing on the cake.
Todd: Pacman need a drinky.

Todd: If doing The Scarn is gay, then I'm the biggest queer on Earth!

Todd: What's going on you guys? Yeah! The three muska-queers!
Kevin: [giggling] Mean but good!

Holly: So, Todd, this must be nice for you getting off the road. You get to spend some time with your daughter.
Todd: I don't know, I love her and all, but she turned into a bitch. Mostly she's great, but some days she acts like her mom.
Holly: Well, some girls go through a phase.