Todd: I really thought I was becoming too much of a womanizer. I realized I had shirts in five different women's houses.
Michael Scott: Still not seeing the problem here.
Todd: All right, truth is I gotta couple love bumps on my ding-dong so, it's like, oh, game-over!

Michael Scott: Yes! The Pack is back! Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction, probably because most of you have done it with him. Just kidding he wouldn't be interested in any of you. In all seriousness, Todd Packer, is a permanent salesman at this branch. And I would like to invite you to welcome him with open arms.
Kevin: Yes!
Jim: What!?
Todd: It's great to be among friends, and until then, you suckers will do!
Kevin: Nice. We got burned.

Dwight K. Schrute: Hey, Packer, I made you some hot chocolate.
Todd: Why?
Dwight K. Schrute: 'Cause I wanna let bygones be bygones. Show you I'm cool. You're the new guy. It's cold out. I made too much. I got this awesome hot chocolate recipe from my wife.
Jim: That's a lot of reasons!
Dwight K. Schrute: Drink it!
Todd: I think I'll pass. The only hot chocolate I'm into is Vivica A. Fox.

Todd: [to Hank] And a '76 that's good to boot, I like that.
Michael Scott: And you made Hank smile, that doesn't happen often. You're very charming. That is something you should take upstairs, and use on people that really matter.
Todd: Why?
Michael Scott: I don't know. Holly mentioned that there were some complaints. And that you had said some things about Kevin.
Todd: Holly said that?
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Todd: Holly? She was laughing hysterically that whole time!
Michael Scott: I guess you said something weird about your daughter?
Todd: She asked me, Michael. It would've been rude not to answer.
Michael Scott: You've been on the road a long time. And you've been an outdoor cat. And now you have to be an indoor cat, so you can't be peeing all over the walls.
Todd: Michael, can I open the kimono with you. I've been on the road too long. But, I wanna connect with my daughter. And it's not right to call her a bitch in front of strangers.
Michael Scott: No, it isn't.
Todd: You're right. I gotta watch my behavior.
Michael Scott: Yeah, a little bit.
Todd: Don't give up on me.
Michael Scott: I won't.

Dwight K. Schrute: I'll be on top. It's the most important position.
Ryan: Dude, I think you have appendicitis.
Dwight K. Schrute: [tries to climb human pyramid] Ahh!
Ryan: Dwight?
Jim: Dwight, why don't we just hold off with the human pyramids for a while?
Dwight K. Schrute: Everyone stop moving! Everyone stop wiggling! Oh, I feel like I'm gonna vomit!
Todd: Dude, don't you yak on me. This shirt is Van Heusen.

Nellie: Alright, I'm gonna eliminate three people right now, okay? Just... you three, no.
Todd: Not good enough. [clicks tongue]

Nellie: Everyone meet in the hotel bar at 7:00. I'm not allowed to say it's mandatory, so let's just call it compulsory.
Todd: I'll be there at 6:00

Todd: Okay, drinking game. Count of three, take three sips.

Todd: Nice. Hey, Halpert, anyone ever tell you you look like Wooly Willy?
Dwight K. Schrute: [to Packer] Silence.
Todd: Aw, I'm just trying to-
Dwight K. Schrute: I know what you're trying to do, I don't want it. [to Jim] But your face does look like the guy from Operation.
Todd: That's- That's the same guy. It's the joke I made.
Dwight K. Schrute: Different guy.

Todd: Well, looks like Shnoot's a no-show. Guess he wasn't vice presy material after all. But I am. Put me in, babe. I got the info down backwards, forwards, and doggy-style. I'm your man.
Nellie: Right, let's begin then. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the vice president of Sabre Retail, Mr. Todd Packer.
Todd: 'sup.