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The Incentive

‘The Incentive’

Season 8, Episode 2 -  Aired September 29, 2011

When Robert tasks Andy with increasing sales at the Scranton branch, he struggles to find ways to motivate his employees.

Quote from Robert

Robert: You like her.
Andy: I do.
Robert: She likes you.
Andy: You know, we've both been into each other at different times and just never really synced up. Now we're in this weird dance-
Robert: I'm afraid you've lost my interest.


Quote from Erin

Robert: [As Erin holds an overflowing coffee cup] You can just put it down.
Erin: Oh.
Robert: [after taking a standing sip from the coffee cup] That is very cold.
Erin: Yeah. It's old.
Robert: Why would I...?
Erin: I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said "coffee".

Quote from Andy

Andy: I just wanted to pop in and get your opinions on ties and tie clips. Which combo do you think Robert is going to like more? [To Oscar] What do you think, C-SPAN?
Oscar: ..."C-SPAN"?
Andy: Yeah. C-SPAN, cocker spaniel. Spaniel because of your Spanish bloodline and cocker cause...

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: [To Oscar] Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.

Quote from Kevin

Robert: If the office superstore was supposed to put us little suppliers out of business, why are we still here? [Kevin raises his hand] Ah?
Kevin: This is where we go.
Robert: [chuckling] You'd go someplace else. That's not it. That's not the answer.
Kevin: It's a answer.
Robert: It's a wrong answer.
Kevin: There are no wrong answers.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Andy: D-Bone. There you are.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let me guess, somebody needs a brownie. Lick the spoon?
Andy: No, that's okay. Just, I want, I wanted to ask you about...
Dwight K. Schrute: Is this about the profits? Because if it is I just don't see the point. It's so Wall Street.
Andy: I know, right?
Dwight K. Schrute: Right?
Andy: Yeah. Um, how is everything?
Dwight K. Schrute: Good. Really really good.
Andy: Must be a tough time to be a family farm.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, it is. And beets are not immune. We made some inroads in salads, but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Andy: Oof. What are you gonna do about that?
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't know, what do you mean?
Andy: There's gotta be some way you can double your beet sales...
Dwight K. Schrute: You wanted the job. The job is yours. Just do the job! [licks brownie batter off his finger] And I'll do mine. Walnuts?
Kevin: No!

Quote from Meredith

Ryan: Uh, is that a vibrator?
Andy: Twenty points.
Meredith: [quickly jumping in] How does one get a point?

Quote from Andy

Andy: I've outlined the exact parameters in an email, so check your spam folders, but basically you do your job better, you get points. So, collect fifteen points and redeem them for this polar bear.
Kelly: Why is it all kid stuff and a vibrator? It's so gross.
Andy: There's lots of stuff. John Irving, collected works, Twenty-two points. Or, you can pool your points and redeem fifty-five for this maternity shirt.
Stanley: How ‘bout you want us to work harder, pay us more.
Andy: I can't.
Kelly: This point system is really insulting.
Andy: Oh, I didn't mean to offend you, and I hope you'll forgive me because I am very, very... Sari. Sixteen points.
Kelly: That's a tablecloth.

Quote from Andy

Jim: What if we went all the way up to five hundred points?
Andy: That's a crazy amount of points.
Jim: But, what if?
Andy: Well, what do you want?
Jim: I don't know, for such a crazy number I'd like something pretty crazy.
Andy: Alright. For five hundred points, I will wear a dress to work. [laughter]
Jim: That's pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?
Andy: I'll run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding-dong. [laughter] Yeah? You like that? Alright! For five thousand points, I will let you tattoo whatever you want on the stern of the old SS Bernard!

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