Dwight K. Schrute: I could save the branch.
Jan: Really?
Dwight K. Schrute: If you let me run it.
Jan: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I can run it?
Jan: What would you do differently?
Dwight K. Schrute: Mostly get rid of waste, which is half the people there. And clean house.

Jan: [on speaker phone] Michael!
Michael Scott: Hi.
Jan: I had a very interesting conversation with one of your employees.
Michael Scott: Oh, that's nice.
Jan: No, it wasn't. Dwight just told me that he thinks he can run the branch better than you.
Michael Scott: What?
Jan: Uh-huh.
Michael Scott: You were at the dentist?

Michael Scott: What was Dwight thinking? That he could turn Jan against me? She's my ex-lover-ish.

Josh: This is not working, okay? We are getting slaughtered out there.
Andy: It's the new guy.
Jim: Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know what we're talking about.
Andy: See what I mean?
Josh: We just need a strategy, okay? We're gonna set up a trap in the gunroom. All right? Jim, are you using the MP40 or the. 44?
Jim: Um, sniper rifle?
Josh: Snipe- What? Jim!
Andy: In Carentan?
Josh: Are you playing for the other team? You don't snipe in Carentan, okay?
Andy: It's saboteur! Saboteur! Andy, it's not I'm gonna kill you for real. This game, the game is over. I'm really going to shoot you.

Michael Scott: Do you want an M&M?
Dwight K. Schrute: No, thanks. I'm stuffed.
Michael Scott: No, seriously, you should have an M&M, they're really good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay.
Michael Scott: Good, huh?
Dwight K. Schrute: So good.
Michael Scott: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple of hours after you've had a crown put in.
Dwight K. Schrute: They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding. So...
Michael Scott: Sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, yeah.
Michael Scott: What's his name?
Dwight K. Schrute: Crentist.
Michael Scott: Your dentist's name is Crentist?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight K. Schrute: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.
Michael Scott: Let me see your teeth. Let me see them. Let me see them. You should floss them.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know.
Michael Scott: Well, then. I'm glad you're okay.

Michael Scott: Wow. This is tough!
Dwight K. Schrute: What? What is it?
Michael Scott: Well, I just got off the phone with Jan. And, um, she demoted me.
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Yeah. You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job. And she said that you should be expecting a call later from corporate, and that I guess that means that you are going to be acting manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.
Dwight K. Schrute: I can't believe this news. That- Wow!
Michael Scott: Yeah. I told her I didn't know whether you'd want to do it because you've always been so loyal to me. You've been my most trusted ally.
Dwight K. Schrute: You said that?
Michael Scott: Yup, I did. I did.

Michael Scott: Hey, hi, hello, everybody. I have some good news and I have some bad news. I am being replaced as your leader by Dwight.
Phyllis: You're kidding.
Michael Scott: You might think that I am kidding, and I understand that.
Angela: Congratulations, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you, Angela.
Stanley: But, why Dwight?
Michael Scott: Because Dwight never lies.
Stanley: How does that qualify him to run a branch?
Michael Scott: Because that's all it takes. Okay, Dwight, would you like to say a few words to everybody about loyalty?

Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you, Michael. I just want to say, to the few of you who will remain under my employ, that I intend to lead you into the black with ferocity!

Phyllis: Maybe I'll quit.

Karen: Look how cute he is. And he's trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.
Jim: I'm sorry, what are you whispering about me?
Karen: No, nothing. Just concentrate on turning around.
Jim: Yeah, I'm trying, I just-
Karen: Just tap "S" then "D."
Jim: Oh.
Karen: Any last words? No?
Jim: What? Wow! Psychopath.