Paramedic: [to Dwight] You need an operation. You have appendicitis.
Ryan: Oh! Who called it? Nothin' but net.

Dwight K. Schrute: Don't remember me like this. Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen.

Pam: Whoa, are those mini pizzas?
Andy: Yeah, I figured we'd keep things savory while Oscar's mouth is in canker country. I also have some bacon-wrapped dates on deck.
Kevin: Look at these little mini pizzas. Does this make me look huge? [giggles] Hey guys, look at me, I'm huge.

Dwight K. Schrute: What's our presentation about?
Jim: Dwight, will you go back to the hospital? You were there for like three hours.
Dwight K. Schrute: I got the surgery, what else is there to do?
Erin: Do a hundred jumping jacks.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, I don't feel like it. You do a hundred jumping jacks.
Erin: I don't feel like it either!
[later:]
Erin: [doing jumping jacks] Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine-

Stanley: Aw, let him do it.
Jim: Stanley, are you listening to music?
Stanley: Yup.

Andy: Mail call! [sings] His name is Oscar, and he got some mail, and he better open it, or go to jail 'cause it's your taxes. His name is Kevin, and no mail for him, but he got a coupon, for some frozen... yogurt.
Kevin: Are those the lyrics?

Dwight K. Schrute: Any other questions? Jim?
Jim: You are bleeding through your shirt.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oops. That's embarrassing. Egg on my face. [ties jacket around his waist] Ah.

Nellie: Todd, look at that. [points to Dwight's wound]
Todd: Oh, yikes. Incoming! [tries to touch the wound]
Dwight K. Schrute: Ah! Not so fast.
Nellie: Would you come in early tomorrow so we can talk about the store over breakfast? I feel you [points to both of them] have a lot to offer.
Todd: It would be an honor, ma'am.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll go ahead and cancel my post-op check-up right now.

Andy: Oh! There we go! Pam?
Pam: Yeah?
Andy: Can you get the phone?
Pam: Well, I'm not the receptionist.
Andy: Mm, well, you used to be.
Pam: I know, but I can't cover reception. I have a ton of work to do.
Andy: Phone's ringing.
Kelly: Will one of you get the phone? I am freaking out! I know it's for me. [Andy and Pam silently argue] Are you guys kidding me? Stop flirting and someone get the phone!

Todd: Quick query, Halpert.
Jim: No way.
Todd: Still queer?
Dwight K. Schrute: Packer.
Todd: You can't put me down. Too strong!
[aside to camera:]
Todd: Yeah, Dwight and Jim tried to get me fired, but I landed on my feet down here in Florida. You see, this cat's got nine lives, and a nine-inch-