- Michael Scott
- Dwight K. Schrute
- Jim
- Pam
- Ryan
- Andy
- Stanley
- Kevin
- Meredith
- Angela
- Oscar
- Phyllis
- Kelly
- Toby
- Creed
- Darryl
- Erin
Stanley Hudson Quotes Page 2 of 12
Quote from Initiation
Stanley: I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive.
And then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But, on pretzel day... Well, I like pretzel day.
Quote from Beach Games
Stanley: Do you expect me to believe that you're truly making your recommendations on this basis?
Michael Scott: Word. Here we go. Let's see it.
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. Game on!
Quote from Doomsday
Andy: You know what, fine! I try to start fun traditions for you guys, but if you don't want to sing, no traditions!
Stanley: [singing] Closing time, every new beginning...
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I've never heard that song before. And once I heard it, I did not care for it. But that song means it's time to go home. Now, it's my favorite song.
Quote from Christmas Wishes
Andy: Who's excited to get their holiday wishes?
Stanley: "Holiday wishes."
Andy: What's that, Stanley?
Stanley: We know exactly what holiday you're referring to.
Andy: It is important to be mindful of all belief systems at our holiday party.
Stanley: I've been here eighteen years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, A Pulp Fiction Christmas, A Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas. Mo-rocca Christmas. I don't want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas.
Quote from Did I Stutter?
Michael Scott: Stanley Hudson, you are fired.
Stanley: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: I am serious. We are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack.
Stanley: You're firing me over three words? Have you lost your mind? Do you think I'm gonna let you do this to me? I've watched you screw up this office for ten years, and I'm filing a lawsuit, and I'm gonna tell them about every stupid thing you've ever done up in this office.
Michael Scott: All right. All right. Okay. You know what? Now you know how I feel. This was a fake firing. Lesson learned. Good work, everybody. Very nice.
Stanley: So I'm not fired?
Michael Scott: That's it. And do you have anything to say to me?
Stanley: Oh yes, I do. You are out of your damn little pea-sized mind. What is wrong with you? Do you have any sense at all? Do you have any idea how to run an office? Every day you do something stupider than you did the day before. And I think, "There's no possible way he can top that." But what you do you do? You find a way, damn it, to top it. You are a professional idiot!
Quote from Cafe Disco
Stanley: I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense.
Quote from Christmas Wishes
Stanley: I don't want no Kwanza wreath. I don't need a dreidel in my face, that's its own thing. And who's that black Santa for?! I don't care! I know Santa ain't black! I could care less. I want Christmas! Just give me plain baby Jesus, lying in a manger, Christmas!
Quote from Office Olympics
Jim: Stanley, I just played Dunder Ball with Toby. What about you? You got any games?
Stanley: Yeah, I got a game. It's called "work hard, so my kids can go to college."
Jim: Fair enough.
Quote from The Merger
Stanley: I don't know who these new people think they are. I've sat downwind of Phyllis' stinky perfumes for years. Never said a word.
Quote from Baby Shower
Stanley: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. I have varicose veins, too.
I have swollen ankles, I'm constantly hungry. You think my nipples don't get sore too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?