Meredith: That apple looks delish!
Deangelo: I do a lot of portion control. I try to keep my daily caloric intake under 1200. [laughter]
Stanley: Deangelo, you're going to starve to death. [laughter]

Andy: T-bag bone...
Jim: Andrew.
Andy: Have you noticed a little bit of a mood shift around here?
Jim: No, I haven't noticed anything.
Andy: Really? Because I sat next to Stanley for years and this is nap time. Open eye nap time. He balances the phone on his shoulder and just powers down. Now look at him.
Stanley: [on the phone] You've got to unleash the power of the Pyramid!

Andy: Mooshie mooshie.
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh, the Florida picks got out, and people were just kind of curious as to why they weren't picked and maybe you could just clarify?
Andy: Well, uh... Well, the deliberations were confidential so I feel like we should respect that.
Stanley: Respect it? You're trying to tell me Kevin Malone deserves more than Stanley Hudson.
Kevin: Hey!

Dwight K. Schrute: Have you seen Erin?
Stanley: I'm on break. [removes a pizza slice from his "tripack" pouch]
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh God.

Stanley: Well, I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven.

Jim: You know, truth be told, I think all you'll really be doing is accepting calls from my clients while I'm gone.
Stanley: We've got all afternoon to talk about that.
Waiter: Morning, folks.
Stanley: I'll have the surf and turf with a side order of lobster.
Waiter: Actually, the surf and turf does come with lob--
Stanley: Not enough lobster. Side order.
Phyllis: How much wine do you have?

Jim: We're thinking of collaborating with Mike Schmidt on some of his charity work.
Stanley: I love Philly. Dirty town.

Pam: He sounds like a wounded animal.
Stanley: Should've put him out of his misery and just fired him.
Phyllis: I can't be around sad people, it makes me sad.
Stanley: I'm the same way with horny people.

Stanley: [on the phone] Hello, honey? I just spoke to the TV repair man and he says we need to keep our TVs turned off for a couple of months. Something about the wiring.

Erin: Come on. Come on, Stanley. Stay in it.
Stanley: I put 17 damn years into this company, and now they're making me climb stair mountain!
Erin: Come on.