‘Shareholder Meeting’
Season 6, Episode 11 - Aired November 19, 2009
Michael is excited to be invited to Dunder Mifflin's annual shareholder meeting in New York, despite the dire straits in which the company finds itself.
Quote from Michael Scott
Erin: Michael? The limo's here for you.
Michael Scott: It's not a limo. It's a town car. Town cars are actually better, though. Better torque. Better handling.
Erin: He said limousine, so...
Kevin: Check it out, guys. There's a limo down here. Michael, look. Oh, man.
Michael Scott: They sent a limo.
Quote from Michael Scott
Dwight K. Schrute: What kind of mileage does this baby get?
Erin: It's like what high school kids take to prom on TV shows.
Oscar: This is so typical of management to spend money on this. Ugh. Bunch of boobs.
Michael Scott: Hate to break it to you Oscar but some of us like boobs.
Dwight K. Schrute: Calves. Calves all the way.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: I wish the windows weren't tinted so people could see us in here.
Andy: Hey, guys, do you think anyone might have had sex in here?
Michael Scott: Definitely.
Dwight K. Schrute: Smells like it.
Michael Scott: Definitely. Look they got pillows. That. That's bigger than my bed.
Quote from Michael Scott
Andy: Michael, what if somebody asks you a question at this meeting? Are you just gonna wave, or what?
Michael Scott: I will have to answer.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll ask you a question.
Andy: Make it a softball. Something he can, like, crank out of the park.
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael Scott, you run the most profitable branch of Dunder Mifflin. How do you do it?
Michael Scott: No, no. That's too hard. Say your name is Zamboni and then I will say, "Well, we're sort of on thin ice." I won't say that. I'll something like that.
Quote from Michael Scott
David: I'm glad. I want to introduce you to everyone. First we'll start with Alan Brand. Alan? CEO. Michael Scott, Branch manager, Scranton.
Alan: It's nice to meet you, Michael.
Michael Scott: It's nice to meet you, too. It's an honor and a privilege.
David: Seated, we have the former congressman, Chris O'Keefe.
Michael Scott: Ah. [bows] Your eminence.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: You guys ever protect the president?
Security guard: No.
Michael Scott: What about Madonna? Or Obama twins? Anybody famous?
Security guard: We're not supposed to talk about it. Nelly Furtado.
Quote from Michael Scott
David: [over booing] Believe me everyone is working very hard, working weekends, struggling, trying to right the ship.
Shareholder: You're a criminal.
Michael Scott: Hey, hey, hey. I'm sorry. These are not criminals. They are nice. They invited me to come here today. They invited me to their hospitality suite where I had free food and it was delicious. Get this. Know how nice they are? The sent a stretch limo all the way to pick me up in Scranton. That's -
Second Shareholder: Limousine?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Third Shareholder: You're all corrupt. You should be in jail.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Oh, there he is. Come on in. Come on in. Gentleman, I would like you to meet Oscar. Come on in. Don't be shy. This is Oscar Martinez. Oscar, why don't you come over here. Let me present you. Step up. Step up there. Oscar is an accountant extraordinaire at the Scranton branch and he has a wonderful idea as to how to get us out of this murky, murky situation. Take it away.
[Oscar stands in stunned silence]
Quote from Jim
Jim: I think this is really gonna help. If you could just hold up here one second. Hey, guys, just a quick announcement. If I could just have everyone's attention. I just figured you needed a place where you can concentrate and not be bothered by bothering people.
Ryan: Okay.
Jim: Let me show you what I mean. [Jim opens the closet door to reveal a work station] Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done. Well, not done.
Ryan: I will, uh, I will do my work right now. I will stay late tonight.
Jim: Right.
Ryan: Uh, I'm very sorry... about everything.
Jim: [laughs] You're a good kid. You know what? It gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy it. [shuts the door and walks away]
Ryan: [o.s.] Is there internet?
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Alan: The gentleman in the, uh, glasses.
Dwight K. Schrute: Dwight Schrute, Scranton branch. I just want to say that I have been standing in this line all day and if this line is any indication of how this company is being run then we are in big trouble. [crowd cheers] Thank you. Right. I know. And I just want to say that I believe that there are options out there. A take a number option like they have in a deli. What about line varieties? Like an express line for quick comments of ten words or less. They can move much more efficiently. What about ropes along the lines that you can hold on to.
Alan: Thank you. Thank you for your suggestions.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah.