Pam: Jim does a really good one. Do yours.
Jim: Oh, guys. I really refuse to participate. [as Kevin] "Michael, can I have an advance on my paycheck because a Mrs. Fields Cookie just opened up at the mall."
Gabe: Guys, why don't we leave the parodies to the pros at Mad TV?
Jim: "Sorry, Gabe, but that show hasn't been on in many cookies."

Andy: Hey, can I have your attention please? First of all, thanks to everyone for helping put this awesome party together. And a very special shout-out to the chair of the Party Planning Committee, miss Angela Martin. You have outdone yourself.
Michael Scott: You know what, I think we can all agree that Angela's not so great, so..
Andy: I am saying the exact opposite. Angela is fantastic.
Michael Scott: No. No. No.
Andy: Specific shout-out..
Michael Scott: Stop talking.
Andy: Okay. As some of you may know, I have a very special connection to Secretary's Day in the form of that 115 pound moonbeam over there named Erin Hannon. To a lot of you she may just be the person who brings you your fax conformations. But to me, she is my girlfriend... In addition to being the person who brings me my fax confirmations. So I wrote [in a British accent] a little ditty. That I would like to play for all of you right now. It's a little tune called Secretary of Love. A one, a two, a one, two, three..
Erin: [throws a piece of cake at Andy's face] I know about Angela! I know that you were engaged to her and that you were sleeping with her! Michael told me.
Michael Scott: Oh God.
Andy: Can we talk about this in private?
Erin: I don't want to be in private. Is it true or is it not?
Andy: Yes.
Erin: Who else did you sleep with? Did you sleep with Phyllis or Kelly or Pam? Maybe all together?

Kevin: Erin, you know, if I had been engaged to anyone before you, I would've told you.
Erin: Thanks.
Kevin: So if you need anything, I'm right over there.

Andy: Who cares? I mean it's not like I killed someone. Big deal right? This can blow over in two seconds. She never asked me. So, if you think about it... I probably should have told her I guess. Everybody does stupid things.

Gabe: [on the phone] So I can reprimand them but I can't suspend them? Oh, I can't do either. Uh huh. Fair enough.

Erin: Trust is the most important thing to me. Is your name Andy Bernard? What's your real name? Lionel Frankenstein?
Andy: Will you stop walking for one second? That's it. There's no other secrets. Okay? I mean yeah, my chest is not naturally hairless, and my parents pay my credit card bill.
Erin: How long were you guys together?
Andy: A year.
Erin: A year? You were together for a year?
Andy: Yeah, but that's it. Now you know everything about me. I promise. And if I think of anything else...
Erin: I think I have to be on my own for a little bit. Like the girl Precious in Precious. Based on the novel Push by Sapphire. Okay?
Andy: I didn't see that movie.

Andy: Sometimes telling someone something is hard. Well, at least someone made her happy on Secretary's Day.