Nellie: Get excited. The special projects fairy has arrived.
Creed: I know you don't really exist.

Nellie: Today, I launch my big charity initiative ‘Operation Give Back'. Andy has shot down all of my special projects thus far but, this one is about charity. So, I'd like to see him piss on that one.

Pam: The building's custodian is on vacation for the month and Dwight is too cheap to hire a replacement. So, instead, we're living in filth. But, not for long. Because I have created the chore wheel.
[later:]
Kevin: Oh, yeah! Can I spin first?
Pam: Well, it doesn't spin. We'll just move the wheel one notch each morning and... you see what chore you get that day.
Kevin: A wheel is supposed to spin.
Erin: Yeah, you know, like guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh... guh.
Pam: No, I'm familiar with spinning. It's just that wouldn't work with a chore wheel because people might get the same chore-
Andy: Bugh, boring. All she talks about is chores.
Creed: A wheel wants to spin, Pam.
Jim: Spinning would be more fun.
Pam: ‘kay.
Kevin: Okay, that's what I'm talking about! Big money, big money! Mug duty?
Pam: Yes, you clean all the mugs in the sink.
Kevin: This sucks.
Erin: Yeah, seriously, it's like everything on there is work.
Pam: I don't think you guys understand why we're doing this. It's-
Kevin: Yeah, I don't think that you understand wheels.

Pam: The tiny wheel actually does have chores. It's so cute no one seems to mind.

Jim: A banana?
Pam: Yeah. I'm afraid he's only gonna have hot dogs.
Jim: Oh, come on. Not even Roy will have hot dogs at his wedding.
Pam: Planned a wedding with him. He wanted hot dogs.

Nellie: With Operation Give Back, you pick the charities Dunder-Mifflin supports.
Kevin: Oh boy! What's happening?
Nellie: There's four thousand dollars to give away. So, who has filled out their form? Stanley?
Stanley: American Diabetes Association.
Angela: Um, you have diabetes, Stanley. [to Nellie] I'm sorry, is the assignment to pick a selfish charity?

Nellie: Dwight, I cannot have the Taliban on the roster of Operation Give Back.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, it looks like there won't be any Operation Give Back. Ha, ha. The nanny state is over, ladies and gentlemen. You're welcome.

Pete: No, Clark's not my friend. He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. My friends are Scott, Glenn, and Rob. But, you don't know them.

Nellie: You support the Taliban abroad. So I assume you're willing to live by their rules here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Anything else would be inconsistent.
Nellie: Will you join me then in a pledge to live by Taliban law in this office?
Dwight K. Schrute: Absolutely, I will.
[later to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I feared Nellie had some sort of a plan but she used a ridiculous font. Huh. [in an English accent] You don't 'av a plan.

Jim: I'm sorry. This is for a news audition?
Andy: Yeah.
Oscar: Then why are we talking about her looks? Why not her credibility? Or her reliability?
Andy: News flash everyone: the human race finds attractive people more trustworthy.
Oscar: I'm so sorry, Andy, but for twenty years, the most trusted man in America: Walter Cronkite.
Meredith: Cronkite was hot. If I could go back in time, I'd take that mustache ride.