Robert: When I put in the screening room, I bought three movies: Caligula, Last Tango in Paris, and Emmanuelle 2. Last two movies I actually watched in here: Marley and Me and On Golden [bleep] Pond.

Dwight K. Schrute: Riddle number two: Who is going-
Robert: Ah-ah-ah- Your drive, your ambition. It would be wasted on a manager's job. And Florida, you don't want to live here. Even I don't want to live here. That's why I'm always at my place in Scranton. Florida is America's basement: It's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators. Alligators are dinosaurs, Dwight. You know that, right?

Andy: Hi, Robert? Can you come out here please? It's really important. Just wanted to clarify something. Some people here are under the misconception that some people may be considered, uh, let's say top-tier and others would be second-tier.
Robert: I never said that.
Andy: Thank you. Great.
Robert: I said winners and losers. Is that what you're talking about?
Andy: Oh, that, it might- That actually might be what I'm thinking of. Can you clarify that?
Robert: Let me tell you some things I find productive. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty. I'll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social clues. And then, inevitably re-framing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe in that at all. If I invited you to lunch, I think you're a winner. If I didn't, I don't. But I just met you all. Life is long, opinions change. Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.

Jim: [to Robert, who's looking at pictures of a house online] Whoa, looks pretty nice. Got a little bit of a Shining vibe, though.
Oscar: Oh, who needs a house that size?
Dwight K. Schrute: Big. Stupid. Pure chump bait.
Robert: I'm selling the house, actually.
Jim: You know, there's a glare from over here... Oh, wow. That's magnificent.
Robert: It's mid-recession in a depressed area of a faltering state and I've got the most expensive house on the market. The one percent are suffering too, people. I bought it to be my Playboy mansion. A temple to wine, revelry, sex, intrigue... This was hot on the heels of "Eyes Wide Shut", mind you. Then I met my wife, she moved in, made it her own. Now she's left me and forced me to sell the place.

David: Okay, everyone. I had a conversation with Bob, and since I am going to be CEO now there'll be no need for him.
Meredith: Ouch. That's gotta hurt!
David: But, he is going to make so much money from the liquidation, he's gonna be freed up to do something much more important.
Robert: David has generously offered to donate one million dollars in matching funds to a cause that's very dear to me. So, for the next three years, I'll be travelling overseas, concentrating all of my efforts on educating- mentoring, some African, some Asian, but mainly Eastern European women.
David: I had no idea how pervasive this problem was until Bob explained it to me.
Robert: Oprah Winfrey's leadership academy and other schools like it, while wonderful, end with high school. I want to see these girls right through college, especially the gymnasts. They've lost so many years of crucial education to perfecting their bodies. Muscle groups the rest of us can't even fathom.
Andy: Gymnasts? You're going to seek out uneducated gymnasts?
Robert: Yeah, so I'm hoping to identify some truly exceptional women who show great promise. Well, Andy, it's been fun.
Andy: Mmm. Mmm-hm. [As Robert and Andy hug, Robert kisses him on the lips]
Robert: It's been a great year.

Gabe: Okay, I-I am, I'm almost a little concerned that you might be overqualified for the position. [Robert and Gabe chuckle at this] Do you, um, do you think that you are?
Robert: Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?
Gabe: No. [Robert then nods his head at Jim]
Jim: Can you... [clears throat] You are a man of great confidence. Could you speak a little more to that, and, what the role of confidence... would be... in a dialogue with a subordinate?
Robert: Will you be heard? Will you have a voice? Will I steamroll over you? Do you feel heard right now, Jim? Do you have a voice, right now? ... You can answer me.
Jim: Yes.
Robert: That was your choice, not mine. The fallacy is that it is up to the steamroller. It is up to the object... whether it will be flattened or not, and I can tell from the small interaction we've had already, you won't be flattened by anybody. Do you agree with me, Jim?
Jim: Yes.
Robert: Yes! You do.

Robert: The ultimate insult? They're calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room. [Jim laughs] Does my turmoil amuse you, Jim?
Jim: I'm sorry, I thought you were making a joke.
Robert: What could you possibly have found funny in what I said? What was the joke you thought you heard?
Jim: I guess I thought you were approaching it with more of a sarcasm than misery. [chuckling] Kind of laughing at your own pain. Sad clown thing.
Robert: Oh, yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of the dying circus industry. Very funny, Jim. I get it.

Robert: Here we have the parlor. I imagined people would set down their coats and symbolically their inhibitions. This was the gateway. You enter this room a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge, but beyond it you're simply a penis, a vagina, hunger, ache. Susan used it as a Pilates studio.

Robert: I pictured myself here every night eating a leg of mutton, the juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls. Then I met the vegan.

Nellie: So no one can tell me what's going on. Well, let me illuminate things for you. We are getting to know each other. [in an accent] But why, m'lady? [in normal voice] Because I am your new manager.
Pam: Robert, is Nellie our new manager?
Robert: [laughs] This is an odd situation. But it's very interesting how it's playing out.
[aside to camera:]
Robert: We live in this world of routines and rhythms. Kevin ate someone's lunch. Phyllis has a new necklace. Who is this woman?