Erin: Afghan president Hamid Karzai declared a new policy of dollar days throughout the country. Promising low, low prices on all 2012 Kia Sentras and Sonatas. "Aren't you glad you waited?", Karzai commented.
Darryl: Um, where did you get that story?
Erin: A little bit here, a little bit there. I bet you didn't think I knew current events.

Erin: I never really thought much about being more than a receptionist. But, why? Because I happened to answer help wanted ad to be a receptionist? I mean, what if the ad had been for a CEO? Or for a brain surgeon?

Creed: I wanna work with, uh, Jimmy Carter and help build gnomes.