Andy Quote #433
Andy: What's up, gangstas?
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim was lying about jury duty. He was lying the whole time so he could go do yoga or go canoeing. I don't know what this pervert likes. Fire him!
Andy: Dwight, not everything is a conspiracy theory.
Dwight K. Schrute: I have Jim on the record saying that the vic-
Andy: No. Dwight! I have me on the record, saying to you, take a chill pill.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't- I don't need to take a chill pill.
Andy: Here, right there. [mimes giving Dwight a pill and a glass] Down the hatch.
Dwight K. Schrute: I really don't want to take the chill pill. [mimes taking pill]
Andy: Attaboy. Good. Now, chill.
The Office Quotes
‘Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Oscar
Andy: So, what did you bring?
Oscar: Oh yeah, I don't know if it's right, but-
Senator Lipton: Well, if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper, you hit it out of the park.
Angela: Aw, preemie pajamas!
Oscar: Again, it may not be the right size. I can return-
Angela: No, I think he came early just so he could wear these. Thank you.
Kevin: I got Little Kevin "Call of Duty".
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: This baby is clearly not premature. They're lying about the date it was conceived. It's very interesting. And her husband's gay. I don't even know which thread to follow.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Nurse, you know that baby in there, baby Philip? Cancel the circumcision.
Nurse: Who are you?
Dwight K. Schrute: I just might be his father.
Nurse: I don't know what that means. We're gonna circumcise him.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I was in Los Angeles last year. Jim tricked me into thinking I'd won a walk-on part on NCIS, but that's not important. While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere. Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them. And nobody calls them restaurants.