Andy Quote #359
Quote from Andy in The Incentive
Andy: I've outlined the exact parameters in an email, so check your spam folders, but basically you do your job better, you get points. So, collect fifteen points and redeem them for this polar bear.
Kelly: Why is it all kid stuff and a vibrator? It's so gross.
Andy: There's lots of stuff. John Irving, collected works, Twenty-two points. Or, you can pool your points and redeem fifty-five for this maternity shirt.
Stanley: How ‘bout you want us to work harder, pay us more.
Andy: I can't.
Kelly: This point system is really insulting.
Andy: Oh, I didn't mean to offend you, and I hope you'll forgive me because I am very, very... Sari. Sixteen points.
Kelly: That's a tablecloth.
The Office Quotes
‘The Incentive’ Quotes
Quote from Kevin
Jim: Hey, so this isn't matching up with this and I'm not sure which one's right. Can you just hunt down the original for me?
Kevin: Yes. Me do.
Jim: Alright.
[later:]
Jim: Hey, Kev, what were you saying before about the paperwork?
Kevin: Me do it now. Go. Stop worry.
Pam: Kevin, do you feel okay?
Kevin: Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.
Pam: Yeah, I think we should get him to the hospital.
Jim: Yeah, alright. Kev, why don't you come with us?
Oscar: No, guys.
Angela: No, he's fine.
Oscar: He's fine.
Angela: He's always been like that.
Pam: No, he hasn't.
Angela: I mean, he's gotten worse over the years....
Oscar: He's making a statement. It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A fun-house image of our model of Kevin.
Kevin: You keep think that.
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say "car no go", and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?
Quote from Kevin
Jim: Does it save time though? ‘Cause we've been here for about an hour.
Kevin: No me fault.
Pam: Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time.
Kevin: Many small time make big time.
Andy: What are you gonna do with all this time?
Kevin: See world.
Pam: Kevin, you cannot possibly save enough time to see the world.
Jim: Kevin, are you saying "See the world"? or "Sea World?"
Kevin: See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.
Jim: No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method. ‘Cause I still don't know if you're saying "Sea World" or "see the world," and it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
Kevin: Fine, fine. I'll talk normally.
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: When me President, they see. They see.
Quote from Robert
Robert: Why did I choose Andy to run the office? Because he's all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get. Could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes, but then again, it might just be why people fight for him. There's something about an underdog that really inspires... the unexceptional.