Dwight K. Schrute: When I was young, I spent several years at a private school where I was told I would be taught to harness my mutant abilities. Turned out it was a conman copying Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters from the X-Men comic books. Took me years to figure out that it was a con. Some people never figured it out.

Clark: This sucks, you know? You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company, and what do they do? They make you compete for a promotion, like an animal. You know, I thought this was an office, not the Thunderdome.

Dwight K. Schrute: What quality would make you a good sales associate?
Mose: People person.
Dwight K. Schrute: It says here on your resume that you spent the last 15 years as a sales rep for Dow Chemical.
Mose: That's right.
Dwight K. Schrute: You know we live together, right?
Mose: Yes.
Dwight K. Schrute: And I've never seen you go to work, ever.
Mose: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: So why is this on your resume? [Mose gets up and runs out]