Dwight K. Schrute: Stone and Son Suit Warehouse recently lost their paper provider. They're a family owned business. [chuckles] Jim and I used to clean up at those. We'd go in pretending to be family, brothers. We did it at a family owned law firm, at a family owned construction company, and a family owned motorcycle store. Jim and Dwight Schrupert. I was the dynamic, likable winner that was doted upon by Mom. And Jim was the closeted foot fetishist pretending to belong. The client never knew any of that. But I knew.

Oscar: Hey, look who's back, Dwight Junior.
Kevin: Hey, so how was it? I mean... the sex with Jan.
Clark: A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters. Especially when the feelings of a lady are involved.
[aside to camera:]
Clark: Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week. I mean it was... like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar like you might think. It was, uh, like a swarm of bees. Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.

Clark: Uh, I have a gift from Jan. It's an espresso maker! We came to be quite fond of espresso on the Amalfi Coast so... bon appetite.
Phyllis: Ooh! 16 types of espresso! Now that's Italian.
Oscar: My friend has one of these. Fool-proof espresso every time.
Meredith: Always with the friends, Oscar. Can't we just enjoy the new espresso machine?
Oscar: Actually, it's pronounced "espresso"... Wait. That's what you said. I apologize, I just assumed you would mispronounce it. So...