Darryl Quote #156
Darryl: Me and Val were going nowhere and if I'm gonna be working in Philly, I'm gonna need my freedom. So, I convinced Val to breakup with me. Here's how you do it. You say, "What are you gonna do, breakup with me?" Like it's a joke, and then you gain a lot of weight.
More The Office Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Angela: Oh God, Meredith, lice? Did you not sign a pledge to shower?
Dwight K. Schrute: What? Lice? Oh my god. Lock the doors, we are on full quarantine.
Pam: Dwight, relax. It's just lice. Maybe, possibly.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just lice, Pam?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.
Quote from Nellie
Nellie: No. No, that is not all. Let me tell you what real life is like. The men dry up, and the nights get lonely. The only calls on your machine are from collection agencies about that pair of motorcycle boots you never even wore. You stalk your old high school boyfriend online, go to his daughter's soccer games, and make a scene. You buy a diamond ring for yourself, wear it on your right hand, and tell yourself, "You're all you need". One day, you're alone, tired. At your feet, a dying bird. But where did it come from? Why did you kill it? Is it because in some strange way it is you?
Darryl Philbin Quotes
Quote from Lotto
Darryl: I've never been lucky. And I'm not talking about the lottery, I'm talking about stuff like developing a soy allergy at thirty-five. Who gets a soy allergy at thirty-five? And why is soy in everything?
Quote from Mrs. California
Darryl: I've been meaning to join a gym for my health. I used to say I wanted to live long enough to see a black president. I didn't realize how easy that would be. So now I want to live long enough to see a really, really gay president. Or a supermodel president. I want to see all the different kinds of presidents.