Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1108

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Boat

Nellie: For those just joining us, terror in Greenwich, where police have surrounded the house of Dunder Mifflin CEO David Wallace. Wallace is said to be despondent over the company's stock plummet and is taking a mailman hostage. On the line, we have chief of Greenwich Police, Mr. Bill Jackson.
Jim: [offending Darryl with an African-American accent] Good afternoon!
Dwight K. Schrute: Please sir! Spare him. Please.
Jim: Uh, this Wallace guy is lookin' at hard time. And we only know this because of what Dwight Snoot said on record!
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, everyone. Everyone, hold on! I've got a solution. I know Wallace's phone number, everyone hold, I'll conference him in.
Nellie: Oh, Mr. Schrute, there's really no need to, um involve Mr Wallace.

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 ‘The Boat’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: [wagging tongue for voice exercises] blah blah blah. Greta the tittle-tattle prattled on about the little metal bottle. She spat a bit of spittle on the moth that bit the cattle in a bitter battle. Hey, hey! Stop questioning my methods, okay? I was chosen for this task for a very good reason.
Jim: No, you chose yourself.
Dwight K. Schrute: Tricky Siskel spat a bit of wicked biscuit....

Quote from Creed

Pam: [on the phone] Oh, great! Yeah, um, I'll get right back to you. [hangs up] Hey, guys. Anyone ever heard of Iris Black on the radio?
Creed: Yeah, she hosts the Dr. Laura Show.
Pam: Nope, that's Dr. Laura.

Quote from Nellie

Dwight K. Schrute: [on the phone] Iris, let me tell you. David Wallace is the CEO, but he's not hands on.
Nellie: [as Iris] So the day-to-day operations are entirely under your command?
Dwight K. Schrute: Entirely is the perfect way to describe it, Iris.
Nellie: Uh, excuse me. [reading card held up by Jim] I'm being told by my sound engineer, Steve, that uh there is a clinking sound coming from your end. Does your shirt have buttons?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes..?
Nellie: I'm so sorry we're going to have to ask you to remove the shirt all together.
Dwight K. Schrute: [shirtless] Now then, we were saying. When my workers-gather-
Nellie: Oh, I'm so sorry. I am told we are still having problems, Mr. Schrute. Your voice, it's sounding a little feminine.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's impossible.
Nellie: Are you by any chance wearing pants with a metallic zipper?