Fake Jim: Morning, Dwight
Dwight K. Schrute: Who are you?
Fake Jim: Who am I? I'm Jim. We've been working together for twelve years. Ha, Weird joke, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian.
Fake Jim:: You seriously never noticed? Hey, hats off to you for not seeing race.
Dwight K. Schrute: Alright then, Jim. Ah, why don't you tell me about that sale that you made yesterday?
Fake Jim:: Uh, Wellington systems? Sold them 10 cases of 24-pound letter stock. Or, were you talking about Krieger-Murphy? Because I didn't close that one yet, but I'm hoping I've got a voicemail from Paul Krieger waiting for me.
Voicemail: Please enter your password. [Fake Jim keys in a code] You have one new message.
Dwight K. Schrute: How did you know? No! No, no! That is sensitive information only for employees, not outsiders!
Fake Jim: Dwight, cut it out, I'm trying to work.
Dwight K. Schrute: You don't work here! You're not Jim!
Pam: Jim, I got us that dinner reservation. Grico's at 7:30.
Fake Jim: Oh great, can't wait. [kisses Pam]
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Jim's at the dentist this morning. And Steve is an actor friend of ours.
[back:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't know who you are, but you are not Jim. This is Jim!
[Dwight shows Fake Jim a picture of the Halpert family. Fake Jim smiles at the picture, so Dwight looks and sees that it's a picture of Pam with Fake Jim and two mixed-race children]

Darryl: Since Andy promoted me to assistant regional manager, I've been trying to step my game up, you know, be more productive. In fact, you know what? Let's knock out a few more of these sound bites while we're here. [pauses] Whoa! That person has really gotten him or herself into quite a predicament.

Dwight K. Schrute: Ah, French. It's a great language. If you're a chain-smoking acrobat.