Kelly Quote #160
Toby: Kelly Kapoor is gone. Her fiancé Ravi was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami university.
[flashback:]
Kelly: [tossing out her winter coats] I don't need 'em anymore. I am going to Miami, bee-yotches. To hang with Lebron James and Gloria Estefan.
[back:]
Toby: Miami University in Ohio. On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it. Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit and also moved to Ohio, for what he claimed were unrelated reasons.
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‘New Guys’ Quotes
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Creed: In the parking lot today there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high-wire, a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator; a strong man crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.
Quote from Kevin
Kevin: Oh, what a summer! An emotional roller-coaster. I ran over a turtle in the parking lot, but then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. But I'm not that good at puzzles. So I patched him with stuff from around the office. But I couldn't get the pieces to fit right. Then, one day, when I was reaching for the glue, I crushed his shell again. But I rebuilt him even better that time. But it turned out the turtle was already dead. Probably when I ran over him the first time.
Kelly Kapoor Quotes
Quote from Nepotism
Kelly: This summer, I did the minority executive training program at Yale. You guys, I'm, like, really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, "Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?" And I'd be like, "blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah," giving you the exact right answer.
Quote from Search Committee
Kelly: What was that?
Gabe: We just have a lot of serious candidates to get through today, so...
Kelly: Am I not a serious candidate?
Gabe: What do you want me to say? I mean, there's a line of qualified people out there. We have a video CV from England. [to Jim and Toby] Are we all just gonna pretend to-- okay. [to Kelly] Um, what are your weaknesses?
Kelly: I don't have any, ass[bleep].