Robert: I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to recuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love, and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. Buffett operates the same way.

Andy: What happened to old salty?
Dwight K. Schrute: Nellie let me bobble-ize him. His name is now Captain Mutato.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I've written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction. Captain Mutato is half man, half mermaid. So he can fight crime as a man and make love as a mermaid. Most of my writing involves the latter.

Phyllis: If it makes you feel any better, I never had an orgasm until I was forty-two. And then when I did, it lasted 'til I was forty-four.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: Forty-three was ju- I got nothing done. [laughs]