Nellie Quote #7
Nellie: Where there's a will, there's a way. I once spent a passionate night with Hugh Grant's brother, John Grant. He's older than Hugh, just a little bit uglier. How did I pull that off? Sheer force of will.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Today is the first day of Sabre's new project to develop a chain of retail stores. I am meeting my new boss, Nellie Bertram, head of special projects. Work starts at nine. Sabre HQ is thirty minutes away, driving the speed limit. Giving everyone twenty minutes to shower, plus fifty for Jim to style his hair, twenty for breakfast, forty for Erin to get lost between her room and the lobby, ninety for Ryan to do his morning ecstasy... We're already twenty minutes late.
Quote from Nellie
Nellie: Psst. Say, "So who's leading this thing, anyway?"
Ryan: So who's leading this thing, anyway?
Nellie: Psst. Say, "I can't wait to meet him."
Ryan: I can't wait to meet him.
Nellie: [standing up] Him, you say? Don't think a woman can be a leader? You poor, simple boy. Expected a man, did you? Strong, powerful. Huge, whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint, but my huge, whopping penis is right here, [points to her head] and I'm not afraid to use it. So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis. [slow clap] I'm Nellie Bertram, president of special projects. In the next few weeks we're going to throw everything you know about business out of the window and do it our own way. Are your minds blown? So, how did this special project come about anyway? Well, I interviewed to be the manager of your branch. [points to Jim] After you decided I wasn't "a good fit-"
Jim: It was-
Nellie: Ah! Uh-uh. It was. I went on a shopping spree. Very destructive. I bought thirteen pianos. Then I realized, what if Sabre had a store? Hmm? So I called Jo, old friend, founder of Sabre, and I told her and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she said, "Yes!" So let's talk about the Sabre store then. Probably gonna look stupid, right? Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? What do you think it should look like?
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I need to make Nellie see me as a leader today. First impressions get locked in forever. When I first met Pam, she said something that slightly rubbed me the wrong way. Since then I've loved working with Pam and she's frankly wonderful, but I hate her.
Quote from Lice
Nellie: No. No, that is not all. Let me tell you what real life is like. The men dry up, and the nights get lonely. The only calls on your machine are from collection agencies about that pair of motorcycle boots you never even wore. You stalk your old high school boyfriend online, go to his daughter's soccer games, and make a scene. You buy a diamond ring for yourself, wear it on your right hand, and tell yourself, "You're all you need". One day, you're alone, tired. At your feet, a dying bird. But where did it come from? Why did you kill it? Is it because in some strange way it is you?
Quote from Roy's Wedding
Nellie: When you use a ridiculous font, no one thinks you have a plan.
Quote from Get the Girl
Nellie: I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I don't work especially hard, and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. And yet, I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had, and I got it. If you ask me, that's the American dream right there. Anything can happen to anyone. It's just random.