Darryl: I've been meaning to join a gym for my health. I used to say I wanted to live long enough to see a black president. I didn't realize how easy that would be. So now I want to live long enough to see a really, really gay president. Or a supermodel president. I want to see all the different kinds of presidents.

Dwight K. Schrute: You haven't even looked around yet. Look. Gravel bucket squat yoke. Right? Dedicated phone book ripping station. You ever cut tin before?
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Five yards in and your forearms will be on fire. Plus, I will buy the tin back from you that you cut for two cents a yard. Now, let's go over membership. I'm going to need the first month's and the last month's up front for $49 per month. But every third month is $59 a month. But the fourth month is a discount month at $19 per month...

Dwight K. Schrute: Obese people in my office are a drain on resources. Chairs wear out faster. It takes more freon to keep them cool. They flush the toilets more often. Plus, their massive BMs bust the rivets on my pipes. But a gym turns fat into cash.