Pam: The thing about pregnancy is people treat you differently. Like you're a kid almost. They lose all sense of boundaries. They start acting weird, telling you things that clearly aren't true. I know it sounds nuts, but I think Dwight is the only one who's telling me the truth.

Dwight K. Schrute: Does your husband have very soft erections? Because if not, I just grabbed a very soft penis for nothing.

Toby: You know it's not just pregnant women who don't get their due. You know who's gorgeous? Helen Mirren.
Ryan: Yes! Have you seen her in a bikini? Amazing?
Toby: You know what would be the hottest thing ever? Is a pregnant Helen Mirren.
Ryan: Now we're talking.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, okay, okay. No, no, no. This is disgusting. Do you realize what you're saying? The hottest thing ever would be a 66 year old pregnant woman?
Oscar: In this case, yes.
Dwight K. Schrute: No! There are universal biological standards of beauty and attraction. And you are purposefully celebrating the opposite of them to mollycoddle a pregnant woman.
Phyllis: No, we're not.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, you are. And another thing. Helen Mirren was born Helen Mironov. That's right. You're fake salivating over a Soviet era Russian.