Man: Next up, secretary Schrute will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting.
Dwight K. Schrute: Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. No, Jim, hey!
Jim: Oh.
Dwight K. Schrute: This meeting is for Knights of the Night only.
[later, to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels. One of our many recent good deeds? We set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.

Michael Scott: Man, I worked hard. I worked so hard for this! I was after corporate constantly. I emailed Jo. I wrote letters. And, know who I end up owing this to is the Scranton Strangler. Thank you. Thank you, Scranton Strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away.

Stanley: So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out?
Toby: No, they bring it in.
Stanley: You lucky son of a bitch.
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... That is the life.

Dwight K. Schrute: In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.

Holly: Okay, listen, I'm gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose by the end of this year, we're over.
Pam: Wow, an ultimatum.
Holly: Yeah.
Pam: It doesn't really seem like you.
Kelly: That is a great idea. Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.