Dwight K. Schrute Quote #766

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Costume Contest

Jim: Stop.
Dwight K. Schrute: Too late! If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you'd be so strangled right now. If you're out there, strangler, you will get caught! By me.
Jim: Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us that he's not the Scranton Strangler.
Dwight K. Schrute: To my chickens I'm the Scranton Strangler.


Features in the collection: The Scranton Strangler.

‘The Scranton Strangler’

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Ultimatum

Man: Next up, secretary Schrute will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting.
Dwight K. Schrute: Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. No, Jim, hey!
Jim: Oh.
Dwight K. Schrute: This meeting is for Knights of the Night only.
[later, to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels. One of our many recent good deeds? We set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.

Quote from Michael Scott in Classy Christmas

Michael Scott: Man, I worked hard. I worked so hard for this! I was after corporate constantly. I emailed Jo. I wrote letters. And, know who I end up owing this to is the Scranton Strangler. Thank you. Thank you, Scranton Strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away.

 ‘Costume Contest’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I know how to sit on a fence. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth.

Quote from Stanley

Jim: Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?
Stanley: What's a seven letter word for purse?
Kevin: [sitting at Phyllis' desk, dressed like Phyllis] Satchel!
Stanley: Nope. Starts with an H.
Andy: [shirtless with a tie] Handbag.
Stanley: Hmm. Thank you.
Andy: Shh! Shhh!
Michael Scott: [wearing fake teeth] All right, everybody, take a seat. As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter is up eight thousand percent in sales!
All: Yay! [applause]
Stanley: [looks at the clock, then at his watch] Hold up! That clock is slow. It is five o'clock, I will see you all tomorrow:
Pam: [turns around, is wearing a mustache] Bye, Stanley! Love you! [waves, Stanley leaves]
Dwight K. Schrute: [standing next to a pony] So long, Stanley!
Stanley: Night, everybody.

Quote from Stanley

Andy: Suck it. [removes teeth] Bill Compton, from True Blood.
Stanley: How many freakin' vampires am I supposed to care about these days?