The Office - Dwight K. Schrute Quote #626

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Koi Pond

Michael Scott: Starting today, teasing will not be allowed.
Kelly: You mean there's no teasing of any kind.
Michael Scott: No, no, no. Just things that are on the list. That is the beauty of it. Okay. Who else? Who else? Dwight, come on.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't want people making fun of my nose.
Michael Scott: Your nose?
Dwight K. Schrute: It's too small.

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‘Koi Pond’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So, Jim is actually my friend. But... because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So, actually Jim is my enemy. But...

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: The geometric proportions of my face are perfect in every way but one. My nose is too small. I mean, it still works. I can smell things. I just have to be much closer than most people.

Quote from Erin

Erin: How did today go, by the way? Did you make any sales?
Pam: No. It was a total waste of time. Um. It was fun, though, because I got to spend the day with Andy Bernard. He's really cool.
Erin: Yeah, he is!
Pam: Yeah, he is.
Erin: He's, like, the coolest person I've ever met.
Pam: That's... right. He's like Marlon Brando.
Erin: Oh. Do you mean Marlon Wayans? 'Cause he is.
Pam: I actually do mean Marlon Wayans. Yeah.

Dwight K. Schrute Quotes

Quote from Special Project

Dwight K. Schrute: The Shrutes have a word for when everything comes together in a man's life perfectly: Perfectinschlag. Hmm. Right now, I am in it. I finally get a chance to prove myself to corporate, I am assembling a competent team, I am likely a father, I am so deep inside of perfectinschlag right now. And just to be clear, there is a second definition, "perfect pork anus" which I don't mean.

Quote from Dwight Christmas

Dwight K. Schrute: In a head-to-head contest, people prefer Belsnickel over Santa every time. There aren't as many songs about him, but I attribute that more to rhyming difficulties. My brother and I wrote one once. It was about a fickle pickle salesman who would tickle you for a nickel.

Quote from Office Olympics

Dwight K. Schrute: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60 acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. It's a nice little farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.