Dwight K. Schrute Quote #505
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Blood Drive
Michael Scott: I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there, too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us, maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together.
Dwight K. Schrute: A net? a giant net?
Michael Scott: No. Not a giant net.
Dwight K. Schrute: What do you have in mind?
Michael Scott: I was thinking maybe like a mixer.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, God, that's a terrible idea.
Michael Scott: Old fashioned meat market.
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: I don't think it is.
Dwight K. Schrute: Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation? Ha. You're not allowing natural selection to do its work. Pssh. You're like the guy who invented the seat belt.
The Office Quotes
‘Blood Drive’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Having trouble finding a vein?
Nurse: Yup, a little.
Dwight K. Schrute: How about now?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.
Quote from Pam
Phone Salesman: Hi.
Pam: Good morning, can I help you?
Phone Salesman: Yes, I'm from Techstar about a new phone system for you. I was wondering if I could talk to Michael Scott.
Pam: I'm sorry, he's not in right now.
Phone Salesman: Really? He's never around when I come by.
Pam: Shoot.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting, basically 95% of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. ... Vending machine.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: These people need love and I am going to get it for them. Who cares if we sell a little bit less paper today? A great boss cares more about the happiness of his employees then anything else. I am going to be Cupid, and I am going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims, and they are going to get hit and say, "Ah! I'm in love. I was hit by cupid's sparrow." Funny little bird, but he gets the job done.