Dwight K. Schrute Quote #466
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Moroccan Christmas
Michael Scott: Everyone in this room loves you. But mark my words, we are not going to support your alcoholism anymore. The next time you light yourself on fire, we are not going to help put you out.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh. As fire marshal, I would have to.
Michael Scott: Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: She is a hazard to the other people of the office.
Michael Scott: Oh, okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: I suppose I could do it if it was a controlled burn in a well-ventilated area.
Jim: But you need a permit for that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, right, that'll take a couple of weeks.
Creed: I can get you one in an hour.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really?
The Office Quotes
‘Moroccan Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Jim: Ah. You brought in your doll collection.
Dwight K. Schrute: These are not dolls, Jim. These are commodities, the same as gold or oil.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Every year I do research to determine which toy will be the most popular of the Christmas season. This year it's a doll. Half girl, half unicorn. Catch phrase: "My horn can pierce the sky." Pathetic. I bought out every store in the area over the last couple of weeks. And as lazy parents become more desperate, I will sell them at an enormous profit. Isn't that right, princess?
Quote from Jim
Dwight K. Schrute: What is this?
Jim: Happy holidays, Dwight. But do not open it till Christmas.
Dwight K. Schrute: You are so pathetic. How long did this take you? 3 hours?
Jim: Five minutes, actually. I am a black belt in gift wrapping.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, no such thing. They don't give out black belts for things that are stupid. Well, I hope it was worth it, 'cause I'm gonna take it apart in about five minutes.
Jim: I think it'll take you a little bit longer than that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really? If I can skin a mule deer in less than ten minutes, I ought to be able to cut my... [Dwight falls to the ground as he puts his briefcase on his table and goes to sit in his chair, which turn out to be made of paper]
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Meredith, have you ever used alcohol to alter your mood or deliberately change your state of mind?
Meredith: Sure.
Michael Scott: Do you sometimes have a drink to celebrate a special occasion or mark a holiday?
Meredith: Obviously.
Michael Scott: Have you ever, under the influence of alcohol, questioned the teachings of the Mormon Church?
Oscar: Where did you get this?
Michael Scott: I got it on a web site. That's not important.