Jim: So this year, for the first time ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa, and I got her this teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea at her desk. But I'm also gonna stuff it with some inside jokes. Like, this is my high school yearbook photo. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. What else? This is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two. This would take a little too long to explain, so I won't. And this is the card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.

Jim: Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, just before you walked me over to my desk?
Pam: Yeah. "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk-mate Dwight."
Jim: And that's when I knew. You?
Pam: You came up to my desk and you said, "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired."
Jim: That was the moment that you knew you liked me?
Pam: Yep.
Jim: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Pam: Nope.

Stanley: I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is I have lost a little of my speed. A little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. Look at those biceps. We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.

Darryl: 2,336 pounds. Y'all need to learn some portion control.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait a minute. Pam is on the scale.
Michael Scott: Oh, Pamcake. No, no, no. We would love your extra poundage, but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose. Vamoose, Pam. Dunder Mifflin family only.
Dwight K. Schrute: Family only.
Darryl: All right, got it. 2,210 pounds.
Kevin: Pam, you weigh 226 pounds?
Holly: Almost, Kevin.
Pam: Not almost, though, Holly. I mean, not- Not close to 200.
Holly: [whispering to Kevin] Math is hard.
Kevin: Yeah.

Andy: Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.