Dwight K. Schrute: [answering cell phone] Hello, this is Dwight Schrute. Hello?
Jim: [on headset] Hello, this is Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hello? Hello?
Jim: Yes, we do have that. Hold on one second.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim, what are you doing?
Jim: And how many would you like?
Dwight K. Schrute: Hang that up right now.
Jim: Absolutely. I can get that out to you immediately.
Dwight K. Schrute: This man is an imposter. Don't do business with him, this is not Dwight Schrute.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Dwight left his cell phone on his desk. So, naturally, I paired it to my headset.

Oscar: Well, this is what happened. Ryan's big project was the web site, which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as office sales, and once as web site sales. Which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.

Kelly: I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit and get my hair done. And then be, like, "Hi, Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."