TV Quotes

Jim: Today I am meeting a potential client on the golf course because Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan. He was the temp here. Yeah. And- It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I'd like her parents to be psyched about. So I am about to do something very bold at this job that I've never done before: Try.

Dwight K. Schrute: Excuse me, people. It has come to my attention that some of you have forgotten who is in charge here. When Michael is gone, Jim is in charge. When Jim is gone, Andy and I are in charge. When Andy is gone, you answer to me. Okay? [to Stanley] Excuse me, where do you think you're going? Oh, no, no. You're not leaving. No! Stanley. Do not walk out that door! If you walk out that door, so help me, I will- He left. Last time I checked, the American workday ends at 5:00 P.M. You will all stay at your desks until that time or you will suffer the consequences.
Phyllis: What consequences?
Dwight K. Schrute: I will tell on you.

Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.

Michael Scott: I declare bankruptcy!