Michael Scott Quote #1025

Quote from Michael Scott in Branch Wars

Michael Scott: So, why did you and Karen break up? Was it the sex?
Jim: What?
Michael Scott: I can't imagine the sex being bad, I mean her body is awesome.
Jim: Okay, you know what? Why don't we play that alphabet game that you were talking about?
Michael Scott: Okay, I will start. "A." "Andy. My name is Alan, and my wife's name is Alice, we live in Alaska, and we sell-" Damn it! What do we sell? Um.
Jim: Doesn't matter.
Michael Scott: I'm trying to think of what we could sell.
Jim: Doesn't matter.

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 ‘Branch Wars’ Quotes

Quote from Stanley

Michael Scott: How can I get you to stay?
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Yeah, we all want money. But there is none in the budget, so... Tell me why you're really leaving.
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that. Let me ask you this: If I were-
Stanley: Money.

Quote from Jim

Jim: [in an Irish accent] Angela's Ashes, top o' the morning to us. Frankie's prose is funnier than a pot of gold, say I.
Oscar: Okay. Did you get it out of your system?
Jim: Yep. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought was a fun read.
Toby: Fun? Really?
Jim: Yeah.
Toby: What was fun about it for you? Was it the death of the twins?
Jim: No, that wasn't fun.
Toby: Did you even read it?
Jim: Of course I read it.
Oscar: How does it end?
Toby: Who was the main character?
Jim: Angela. Nope. The ashes.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: Michael, a word?
Michael Scott: Of course.
Stanley: I changed my mind, I wanna keep this job.
Michael Scott: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I wasn't really planning on leaving, all I wanted was a raise. How on Earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? [laughing] Sometimes I say crazy things.