Michael Scott Quote #2211

Quote from Michael Scott in Branch Wars

Pam: I have Ben Nugent on the line, he is the top salesman in Utica.
Michael Scott: [on the phone] Hi Ben, Michael Scott.
Ben: Hi, Michael.
Michael Scott: I'm going to cut right to the chase here. Do you like magic? Because I'm a genie in a bottle, and I'm going to grant you 3 wishes: To move to Scranton, to have a great job, and to be my best friend.
Ben: Aren't you the guy that hit the woman with your car?
Michael Scott: [to Pam] Get out. [on the phone] Yeah. I also saved her life, but I guess that's not as grabby.
Ben: Everyone says Scranton branch is worse than Camden. Didn't everyone from Stamford quit, like immediately?
Michael Scott: No, I fired them, and you're next. So what do you say?
Ben: Seriously?


 ‘Branch Wars’ Quotes

Quote from Stanley

Michael Scott: How can I get you to stay?
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Yeah, we all want money. But there is none in the budget, so... Tell me why you're really leaving.
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that. Let me ask you this: If I were-
Stanley: Money.

Quote from Jim

Jim: [in an Irish accent] Angela's Ashes, top o' the morning to us. Frankie's prose is funnier than a pot of gold, say I.
Oscar: Okay. Did you get it out of your system?
Jim: Yep. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought was a fun read.
Toby: Fun? Really?
Jim: Yeah.
Toby: What was fun about it for you? Was it the death of the twins?
Jim: No, that wasn't fun.
Toby: Did you even read it?
Jim: Of course I read it.
Oscar: How does it end?
Toby: Who was the main character?
Jim: Angela. Nope. The ashes.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: Michael, a word?
Michael Scott: Of course.
Stanley: I changed my mind, I wanna keep this job.
Michael Scott: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I wasn't really planning on leaving, all I wanted was a raise. How on Earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? [laughing] Sometimes I say crazy things.