Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.

Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

Creed: I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.

Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes, I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don't sue me. That's the opposite of the point that I am trying to make.

Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not, like, this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.