Dwight K. Schrute Quote #159

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Drug Testing

Dwight K. Schrute: My father's name was Dwight Schrute. My grandfather's name was Dwight Schrute. His father's name? Dwide Schrude. Amish. I loved my father very much. Every morning he'd wake up at dawn and make us biscuits with gravy. When I was little, my dad and I played a lot of games together. My dad cheated a lot, but I never busted him on it. I would have, except I didn't know about it. He didn't tell me till years later. And I was shocked when I found out.

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 ‘Drug Testing’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I like the people I work with, generally, with four exceptions. But someone committed a crime, and I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven't.

Quote from Jim

Jim: [imitating Stanley] I enjoy the tangy zip of Miracle Whip.

Quote from Jim

Jim: I'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight K. Schrute: I would remember.
Jim: Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's not how it works.
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight K. Schrute: Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you.
Jim: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?