Michael Scott Quote #309
Quote from Michael Scott in The Injury
Michael Scott: Doctor, what is more serious, a head injury or a foot injury?
Doctor: A head injury.
Michael Scott: Well, you don't have all the information. The foot has been fairly severely burned, and healed quickly, very quickly. Actually, like, suspiciously quickly.
Doctor: So I'm ordering a CAT scan.
Dwight K. Schrute: What is that?
Michael Scott: Look, since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot in? We can take a look.
Doctor: Well, for a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.
Michael Scott: Okay, what kind of machine is that?
Doctor: Does the skin look red and swollen?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's what she said.
Michael Scott: That's my joke. Damn it, Dwight.
Features in the collection: That's What She Said.
The Office Quotes
‘That's What She Said’
Quote from Michael Scott in Finale
Jim: Either way, Dwight, I can't be there for you. I'm sorry.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim.
Jim: I just really wish there was something I could do. [looks off into the distance]
Dwight K. Schrute: [turns around] Michael. I can't believe you came.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Jim: [to camera] Best prank ever.
Quote from Michael Scott in Viewing Party
Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
‘The Injury’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It's good for me. It's a perfect way to start the day. Today, I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot. That's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Can I have everyone's attention, please? Phyllis. Oscar. Ryan, who is supposed to be dead. Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it's like to be disabled? Oscar?
Phyllis: Um, I had scoliosis as a girl.
Michael Scott: Never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman's trouble.
Creed: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.
Michael Scott: Wh- How old are you? No, it Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability. Although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.
Michael Scott: Okay. What does this look like to you, Stanley?
Stanley: Mail Boxes Etc.
Michael Scott: Shut it.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: While we are waiting for our special guest to arrive, I wanted you all to take a look at a few of the many, many disabled icons who have contributed so much to our society.
Jim: Quick question.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim: Why is Tom Hanks on the wall?
Ryan: Twice.
Michael Scott: Good question. Forrest Gump, mentally challenged. Philadelphia, AIDS.
Kevin: I think that's from Big.
Michael Scott: I don't think so. No.
Kelly: Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.
Michael Scott: He grew into a man overnight, a rare disability. Still works.