Michael Scott: I told Dwight that there is honor in losing, which, as we all know, is completely ridiculous. But there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better, which is what I just did for Dwight. Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me, and I think I proved that today at the dojo.

Dwight K. Schrute: I am a practitioner of Goju-Ryu Karate here in Scranton. My sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt. And gave me the duties of a sempai. Not that a lot of people here in America know what a sempai is. But it's equally as respected as a sensei.

Dwight K. Schrute: Where is my desk?
Jim: That is weird.
Dwight K. Schrute: This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional.
Jim: Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk.
Dwight K. Schrute: I didn't lose my desk.
Jim: Hey, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, who moved my desk?
Jim: I think you should retrace your steps.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I am going to tell Michael and this entire office will be punished.
Jim: Colder. ... Warmer. ... A little warmer. ... There you go. ... Ooh, warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Cold. Cold. Cold. Back up. Ooh, warmer. Hot. Red hot. Hot. Very hot.
[Telephone ringing]
Dwight K. Schrute: [answering the phone] Dwight Schrute.
Jim: Hi, Dwight. What sort of discounts are we giving on the 20-Ib. White bond?
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim, I've given you this information, like, 20 times.
Jim: I know.
[Toilet flushing, Kevin emerges from a stall]
Dwight K. Schrute: It's by the ream?
Jim: Uh, yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ream It is now $9.78, so it's a discount of 7%.
Jim: Okay, thank you. Got to get back to work.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wash your hands, Kevin.