Michael Scott: Decisiveness. One of the keys to success, according to Small Businessman. [to camera:] I do. I read Small Business man. I also, uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way Magazine. That's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile, last month, of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.

Michael Scott: Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the '80s, before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. God! Man, did they move paper.

Dwight K. Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my check list. Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.