Andy: [interrupting contestant singing "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera] Hi. You're still here. Oh, thank god. Clay Aiken, Santigold, Aaron Rodgers. You're like, my three favorite people ever.
Excuse me. What is this?
Andy: [shushing contestant] Sweetheart, you're amazing, okay? You're obviously gonna be on the show, so it's someone else's turn now. Yeah, go ahead. All right, um, [old man voice] My name is Ezra Cornell and I'm just a kindly old fellow with a song in my heart.
Aaron Rodgers: No, you're a middle-aged man with a lot of makeup on.
Andy: Busted. Yes, got it. All right. Tried to get your attention with tricks, but you just want to hear me sing, I respect that.
Clay Aiken: [chuckling] No, we do not want to hear you sing.
Santigold: Gabriella was our last audition. Thank you. Goodbye.
Andy: Nope! Can't end like this. Slept in my car last night, quit my job, burned all my bridges. I went to the bathroom on my boss's car. And I did unspeakable things with Carla Fern.
Aaron Rodgers: Flag on the play.
Andy: That's- That's what- Yeah. Okay, all right, well, here's the song. [singing] Far above Cayuga's waters, with her waves so blue, stands our noble alma mater—
Santigold: What is this song?
Andy: Are you insane? It's the Cornell fight song.
Clay Aiken: Listen, all right, thank you very much, we're not interested.
Andy: You didn't let me finish. That's not fair.
Aaron Rodgers: Look, man, you're not terrible, but we've heard a lot of really good singers today and you're just not good enough.
Andy: Wow, you guys are really mean. I guess that's the show. Let me try a different song, okay?
Aaron Rodgers: Can he do this?
Andy: [singing] Hey, hobo man, hey, dapper Dan, you both got your style, but, brother, you're never fully dressed without a smile. [falters at the judges' reactions] Yeah. Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly—
Santigold: Look, you gotta go. [Andy drops to his knees, sobbing] You can't just sit here and cry.
Andy: Oh I can so just sit here and cry!